The Hocking Sentinel, 1884-01-03

"Why do the oarsmen claim a fowl so often, Mr;Spiccr?" said Miss Sugar? lips, who was-reading an account of a boat race: "I suppose they get chicken-hearted and feather theif oars," said Seth, as ho scratched his own skull thoughtfully. A Clark County liar has been award awarded - ed awarded the surcingle. He tells of a winter so severe that the springs in men's watches were all frozen. Wo know a man who has such a cold-looking eje that it ouco froze a cataract that ap appeared - peared appeared on his eyeball. A Philadelphia dentist makes you a set of store teeth and lets you take them home on a ten days' trial. It's an ungrateful customer" that will go baek on his own teeth. How mean that would he. "How childer than a serpent's sharp it is to have a toothless thank." Burlington Hawkeyc. A Southerner has invented a machine that rolls out several thousand cigar cigarettes - ettes cigarettes per rninite.. There is only one improvement we can ojggest, and that is a mechanical attachment that will smoke the cigarettes as fast as they are rolled out. buch a contrivance would preserve the health of "our boys." Norristown Ilernldt The most anonymous writer known to the press -is tho ono who signs him himself - self himself "More Anon." It has been dis discovered - covered discovered that "Many Voters" is a poor little tailor who has net cr been natur naturalized. - alized. naturalized. "Truth" is generally a liar. The writings of "History" are rull cf romance. "Justice" wants to crush everybody'who does not think as he docs. 2ew Orleans Picayune.

"Do you ever gamble?' she asked, as they sal together, her hand held in his. He replied', "No; but if I wanted to' now would be my time." "How so?" "Because 1 hold a beautiful hand." The engagement is announced. A Maryland man has secured a di divorce - vorce divorce from his wife because she wouldn't" let him rea'd the Bible. At the same time, it can hardly be defended as a divorce an "Scriptural grounds." Hartford Potf. Ralph Waldo Emerson said: "All healthy things are sweet-tempered." W(3 difler with Ralph. Now, we know a perfectly healthy red-headed' woman who is well, she just is, and no mis-: take about it. Texas Siflings. The window in a dentist's office came down and caught a cat by the tail while he was out, and fourteen people who would have waited for his return, on going up-stairs and hearing the cat's voice decided to go home and stand tho pain of the toothache. "When I married Georgiana," said Frank, "my folks told me 1 was foolish to marry a girl who didn't know how to" handle a rolling-pin. Lord, how they misjudged her! Do you see that lump'

There's much talk about fisherman's lies, but how can a man catch fish prop properly - erly properly without liue? It has been rumored that a large amount of fre-h jokes Averc found canned up in the hold of Noah's Ark. Matches are now so cheap that the ian who borrows your pipe and to tobacco - bacco tobacco would t-oorn to ask ou for a match also. The difi'erenco between a besotted man and a pig U n flight one at best. One's a hunting jjrog and the other s a grunting hog. Pittsburg Telegraph. ' Mr. Fitzgerald, .of Xew York, has won the championship by skinning ten lambs in thirty-three minutes, and thinks of challenging .la Gould. They say that figures won't lie, but one i inclined to doubt the old saw w-l"a he looks upon the Jigure.of afash jly-dressed woman. A PhilEuelphia tailor advertises "Im "Imported - ported "Imported English Clothing." And the pity of it l..L is not obliged to import -linglish dudes to wear it. When a poet prepares a long-winded poem, does he measure it by the gas meter? That would be a good way to get in the "words that burn." The Judge.

Swampscott now, where I understand they have been much praised and their temporary possessors congratulated. "A fuuuy thing happened in connec connection - tion connection with tliis branch of our business. There was to be a large german, and a young lady, well known in this city, came to make arrangements about a set of diamonds. I w as not in the store at the time, and knew nothing of the matter, so when 1 came in I let out the same set to another young belle. In the afternoon Xo. 1 came in and asked significantly if her diamonds had been cleaned. While she was talking No. 2 put the same question to me. The sit situation - uation situation was very awkward, but I ex explained - plained explained the matter, and all was finally settled in favor of JNb. 1, the young la ladies - dies ladies pledging each other and mo to eternal secrecy. 4 "I wouldn't have it get out for the world, you know," explained !sb. 1. "Another branch of our business . is to rent silyer bervices. These were very well paid for. Most of the designs are antique, and some of them have figured

pody vould gry owid I vas dlirunk veil, I don't vant to marry some bolico bolico-man's - man's bolico-man's mine.frent." The Judge. A Brooklyn maiden lady, whose an antipathy - tipathy antipathy to the sterner sex has never ac acknowledged - knowledged acknowledged the soothing influence of tho hand of time, aroused the curiosity of her feliow boarders at.a farm-house last summer by uniformly declining to eat chicken. One of them ventured to ask an explanation of the singular fact, and received the following answer; "Because I understand that the farmer who supplies our table keeps his hens for the sake of the eggs, and kills only tho roosters." Brooklyn Eagle. "Hercy'aro, now; two packages, for 10 cents!" yelled a seedy-looking en envelope - velope envelope peddler in Grand Street. "Here y'are, this way; two packages for five cents!" howled another envcloie ped peddler, - dler, peddler, almost crowding his fellow-merchant off the sidewalk. Women out shopping noted the difference in prices, and soon bought out the two-for-five-

Due notice was given that all communication on topics relating to Agriculture and Horticulture would be fairly considered, and as far as possible promptly an answered. - swered. answered. It was also publicly stated that any citizen of Ohio interested in the object and work of the Sta Station - tion Station had the right to apply to it for any information that could be given. ' In responso to" this general an announcement - nouncement announcement hundreds of letters of inquiry have been received. Many of these could be satisfac satisfactory - tory satisfactory answered ; others could not. To add to (he efficiency of the Station and ,to make this de department - partment department of its wcrk mora valua valuable, - ble, valuable, it has been thought advisa advisa-able - able advisa-able to send out a series of cir circulars, - culars, circulars, asking for definite infor information - mation information on various subjects from different localities.

Tho Italian Soldier. The Italian soldier, as a rule, is short and square-built, aud his general api pearance conveys the impression of a not over-robust physiquo. But sec him marching, and it soon becomes appar apparent - ent apparent that ho possesses more stamina than one would havo given him credit for. lfow unmurmuringly he trudges for hours at a time along :i dusty road under a hot sun with his heavy knap knapsack - sack knapsack on his back, and his rillo slung across his shoulder. And our surprise is increased when wo find what meager rations he has to sustain him under all his toil. His chief meal consists of a soup made with lard, meat, and mac mac-choroni, - choroni, mac-choroni, or some other kind of paste. His mess is prepared in large caldrons, round which at a given signal the men gather each with a tin can, into which is poured a not very abundant supply of soup and an almost invisible lump of meat. In settiiir out nn a lnmr

injuy to abdomen..., widow . widow do -. wound right thigh S.s. w. of left thigh lease of lungs - wouud left leg and right thigh... shall wouud right hand lujury to head chronic rheumatism wound right foot g. s. w. of neck g. s. w. right shoulder .'. g. si w. right arm wound right leg chronic diarr. t dls. ab J. vise wound Ieit hip - injury to abdomen g. s. w. right bieast Wonnd rlht thigh widow dp do do do do do do do do Widow ISl'J do Jo - - do g.R. w. both logs wound right foot nervous debility chronic dimihea widow wouud left shoulder and chest widow chronie diarrhea diarrhea-g. - g. diarrhea-g. s. w. right arm wound or back and usotc wound left leg wound right hand widow wound 1. shonlder and thorax wound right hand disease of lungs and liver, Ac disease of lungs chronic diarrhea disease of right leg Widow 1812 wd. left arm and shoulder injury left leg, Ac injury to abdomen fracture of lefthumsrns widow do wd. right hand k foot