The Record, 1899-02-16

One night, according to the yarn, a tram) printer drifted into a Western office where the colonel was in charge and applied for a job. The foreman put him to work, and he pegged along all right until just before the hour forgoing to press, when Barton sent in a hurry-up editorial based on a late news telegram. Nearly all the printers had left, so the new man got a piece of the "copy,' a page from about the middle. He carried it to his. case, "looked at it frowningly, turned it upside down, looked at it again, and finally put it in position before him and began to scratch up type. 'Read that in your sticks!' yelled the foreman, 4we ain't got no time for proofs!' And when the new man carried his matter over it was 'dumped' into the forms without futher ceremony. 4 'What he had set up ran about like this: 'The miscreant who wrote the copy 1 have before me is respon responsible - sible responsible for my fate. No human be being - ing being can read it. He cannot read it himself. To-night I shall jump a freight, and, as I am somewhat sha shaky - ky shaky from , recent jags, will probably fall off and be killed. My blood be on his head.' This remarkable par paragraph - agraph paragraph appearing without rhyme or reason in the middle of Harton's brilliant editorial, astonished the readers of the paper next morning. When the colonel recovered him himself - self himself sufficiently to get a club and rush down to the office the tramp printer had vanished." New Orle Orleans - ans Orleans Times Democrat.

leave only 1,500 miles to run before reaching the west coast of Ireland. It needs little labor to complete a route by which the man from Mon Mon-' - ' Mon-' treal, or the man from Chicago, or the man from New Vork may be whisked to Green Hay on a Pullman car without changing. Fifty miles of a railway must be constructed to connect Green Bay with the Reid railway system, and two car ferries must be established one from Point au Basque to Cape Breton, and the other across the Strait of Canso. One's first impulse in contemplat contemplating - ing contemplating this proposal is to ask: "Why has such a simple thing never yet been accomplished?" And the answer is sufficiently obvious. It is: "Be "Because - cause "Because Canada and Newfoundland are not parts of the United Stctcs, but the possessions of an alien power." If destiny were not sometimes so deliberate in its movements-if every part of this continent had been United all these years under the Stars ami Stripes the Newfoundland route, placing America within three days of Europe, would now be a common commonplace. - place. commonplace. New Vork Jolirnal. ic. a week for Tin: Record. A Tale With a Moral. Once upon a time a tramp was . sorely in need f something to cat and approaching a farmhouse he spake unto the farmer, saying:44 If you will give me the wherewith to satisfy the cravings of the inner man, I will kill all the rats about the

Romanism. Mr. Moody on his way to Plue Plue-nix, - nix, Plue-nix, Ariz.., held a public service at Albuquerque. Protestants ami Cath Catholics - olics Catholics alike crowded to hear him. The New Vork Observer states that the chief stimulus of hatred to toward - ward toward the Jews in France is the wide widespread - spread widespread distrust of them by the Cath Catholic - olic Catholic clergy. Bishop Potter of New Vork, though a skillful horseman, prefers, when in the citv, to ride in a street car rather than to drive. He is, how however, - ever, however, a great walker. One hundred and fifty churches in Pittsburg, representing twelve de denominations, - nominations, denominations, have associated them themselves - selves themselves in a federation for united ag aggressive - gressive aggressive work among the foreign population and non-church goers. Several new Christian Science churches have been organized in the immediate vicinity of Hoston. A new church was recently organized in Roxbury with a membership of 200, ami still, it is said, the "moth

Southern Trade Progress. The more important of the new new-industries - industries new-industries reported by the Trades- ,. man. Chattanooga, for the week ending Feb. 4 include a $15,000 chair factor in Arkansas; a $25,000 coal mining investment in eastern Kentucky; a construction company, to build iron bridges, etc., in Ala- bama; a cotton compress in Georgia; : a s 100,000 cotton mill in Louisiana; a cotton seed oil mill and fertilizer works in North Carolina; an electric light plant in Alabama; a grain ele- vator in West Virginia; an $8,000 , flouring mill in Kentucky; a fifty barrel mill in South Carolina, and three in Texas two of fifty barrels and 100 barrels' capacity ;a foundry

swallow. Fortune is the aggregate of possi possibilities - bilities possibilities a goddess whom cowards court by stealth, but whom brave men take by storm. Kiss The only way to define a kiss is to take one and then sit down, all alone out of the draught, and smack your lips. Friendship is like earthenware if it is broken it can be mended; but love is like a mirror once broken, that ends it. Adversity is a poultice which re reduces - duces reduces our vanity and strengthens our virtue even a boy never feels half so good as when he has just been spanked and set away to cool.

wealth. An aristocrat is a democrat with his pockets filled. Fastidiousness is merely the ignor ignorance - ance ignorance of propriety. Holiest men are scarce, and arc going to be scarcer. Prudery is nothing more than co coquetry - quetry coquetry gone to seed. Pleasure is like a hornet general generally - ly generally ends with a sting. Hope is a hen that lays more eggs than she can hatch. Success is a coquette, and a bash bashful - ful bashful lover never wins her. Gallantry may possibly be defined

enabling Americans to journey half way to Ireland by Pullman car, is a suggestive piece of news. Most persons, indeed, will be startled at the thought that it is really possible to travel by land, with, two insignifi insignificant - cant insignificant breaks, to a point 1,500 miles on the way to Kurope. It is proposed to make Green Bay, N. F., the terminal point for a line of fast steamships, which would