Cooper County, Missouri - Chapter 12, 1876

Chapter 12

The people in the early history of Cooper county, were industrious, hardy and honest ; a better class of people never emigrated to any country. What they lacked in education, they made up in hard, common sense. Crime was very rare. They were social, clever and honest. Selfish or dishonest persons were not countenanced in society. There were then only two classes of people ; The honest and industrious, and the dishonest and lazy. Persons who did not work for a living, were looked upon with suspicion, and always shunned by the better class. The neighbors were always ready to assist one another when needed. They assisted each other in house-raisings, log-rolling, (not political,) shuckings and reapings, with the sickle. No person thought of performing such work without calling in his neighbors to help him, and frequently, at the same time, the women would be called in and have a quilting. After the work was completed, all would engage in a lively dance, consisting mostly of Virginia reels.

At that time, people cared very little about accumulating wealth. Their families devoted a portion of their time to social and innocent amusements. They were very jocular, very fond of getting and making jokes on one another, and as to slander, they rarely resorted to it ; if they did, they would soon have had no friends or neighbors, and would have been shunned by the good people as vipers.

If two men had a quarrel, they would meet and fight it out, then make friends and take a drink, thus quickly and easily settling their difficulty. Most persons kept whisky at their homes, and used it with moderation at public gatherings. Drunkenness was very rare, and was so very disgraceful, that few persons w^ould venture to get drunk a second time.

The slaves were universally well treated, being considered almost as one of the owner's family, the only diiference being, that they ate their meals from the kitchen and lived apart from the family. They were allowed to have their own parties and gatherings the same as the whites, and in all things enjoyed life about as much as their owners.

At the time of the organization of the county, the people had great respect for old age, or persons older than themselves, even greater than they have at present, and listened to, and often profited by their advice and counsel. The maxim then was, *'01d men for counsel, and young men for war." If an aged person was imposed upon, insulted, injured or assaulted b}' a young man, there was always some person who was ready to rise up and assist in defending him.

Children had great respect, love and reverence for their parents ; and obedience to their slightest commands was considered the first thing that should be taught them- There was, at that time, a much more strict government over children than there is at present. They were taught habits of industry and economy, and were under the complete control of their parents until they became of age, and seldom left their parents until that time. It was then disgraceful not to follow some useful and honest employment, and children were raised with that idea in view, and given

Under the old customs governing courtships, and the settlers were prett}^ strict about matters of this kind, when a young man had '^serious intentions" on the subject ot marriage, his first action was to ask the privilege of setting up during the night, with the object of his affections, to whisper love into her ear. When this took place, it was generally supposed that the young man meant business. When house room was very scarce, the two young folks, after permission had been granted, as above, often sat up in the same room in which the parents of the young lady slept, such being the necessities of the times.

The people, at that time, universally traveled on horseback, and the gentleman who had been granted the privilege of the company of a young lady, rode with her to church, parties and elsewhere, and during these journeys she was under the young man's charge until they returned home. This custom still prevails, to some extent, but the practice of sitting up all night with a lady has been long since abolished in this county.

The weddings generally took place at one o'clock, p. m., at the residence of the bride's father. After which, dinner was served, and then the dancing and the playing games, such as "Old Sister Phebe," "Come my love and go with me," commenced, and were generally continued until late in the night. After breakfast, on the following morning, the company would form into double file on horse-back, the bride and groom in advance, the bride on the left and the groom on the right side. Immediately following them came their attendants, then the parents, brothers, sisters, and last of all, the other ladies and gentlemen who were invited guests. In this order they proceeded to the "infare" dinner at the residence of the father of the groom. After dinner, playing and dancing would commence, and continue as at the wedding. Thus showing that they considered weddings as one ,of the few things which being worth doing at all, was worth doing well.

Housekeeping

Young men at that time did not generally venture to marry without having a home to which he could take his young wife. Unlike the young married men of this fast age, he would build and furnish his house in accordance with his means. The young couples would live plainly and economically, and thereby increase in wealth by degrees. They were proud of what they had, because it was their own, what they had obtained by industry and economy, and for which they were not in debt. When by this course of life they had amassed sufficient means, they would build a better and more stylish house, stock their farm better, and purchase more improved farming implements. To be plain and use a common phrase, they would "take things as they could stand them," and never attempt to reach beyond their height. They did not commence at the top of the ladder to ascend, but at the foot, from whence there was some chance to improve their condition.

These were the old fashioned ways, that were good then, are none the less good now because of their age, and should never have been abolished. In the present customs and fashions, people are truly and surely taking a step backwards, which generally leads those, who practice them, to almost certain distress, and, in most cases, to financial ruin. This is the cause of manv of the crimes committed in hip;h life, among the "Upper Ten," as they are eri'oncously called.

furniture, and clothe themselves as their means will permit. But they must commence with a fine, costh^ house, elegantly furnished, with a fine piano and other finery in proportion ; but they shortly find themselves at the foot of the ladder, too proud to beg and too lazy to work. What then is the result? Some resort to stealing, robbery, arson or murder, and are sent to the penitentiary or the gallows. While others, in desperation, seek refuge in death, and commit suicide rather than reform.. There is no doubt that this fast living produces more crimes, murders and suicides than any other single cause.

Young married people who are much too poor to allbrd it, yet for the sake of being fashionable, take an expensive bridal tour instead of saving the money which they spend in that way to enable them to commence housekeeping. Such things as these will do for the wealthy, but it is manifest, that the poor cannot afford to "put on such airs." 'Tis an old adage, but nevertheless a true one, that it is *'hard for an empty sack to stand upright," and if 3'ou continue taking out of the meal tub without putting into it, you must soon come to the bottom.

We would, therefore, earnestly endeavor to impress upon the minds of our young readers, the necessity of following our advice before financial ruin overtakes them, and of commencing at the foot of the ladder, and slowly and carefully ascending, as this is the only safe road to fortune and respectability. It is true, for human nature is a strange compound of good and evil, that many of their old time friends will pass them by unnoticed, but they must have the moral courage to disregard such persons, and to persevere in the course which they have mapped out. They will soon have cause to be thankful that such pretended friends, for they are no other, have withdraw^n from their

The solid, sensible, wealthy people will never cast you off for using economy and living within your means, but will give 3'ou credit for your financial abilit}^ and your wise and judicious actions will secure their confidence and respect, and the}' will be only too proud of your societ3%

The w'omen, in old times, had "quiltings" and "cotton pickings," and when the work was completed, the young men of the neighborhood would come in. They then engaged, until late at night, in a jovial dance and the old fashioned plays. Corn-shuckings, log-rollings, houseraisings and reapings took place at their proper seasons People living in a new country are more dependent upon one another than the inhabitants of an old countrv, and this caused them to be more accommodatinfj and unselfish than they are at the present time.

Corn-shuckings were lively times with the colored men, who would amuse themselves, during their work, by singing "corn songs." They would frequently separate the corn into two piles, and dividing the company into two parties, each party would choose a captain, and have an exciting race. The party which first completed the shucking of their pile, would claim the privilege of carrying the owner around the house on their shoulders, and place him at the head of the supper table.

At all of these frolics they usually had whisky to enliven the occasion, and some of the men would occasionally get quite lively, but very little drunkenness ever occurred. Many married people would engage in the dances, and seem to enjoy themselves as much as the single ones. They had colored musicians who most of the time played upon the violin, making rnusic which was quick and lively.

Christmas was duly celebrated, the whole week being occupied in such sports as hunting, dancing and playing, at parties given in the neighborhood. The colored people, Christmas week, being a holiday to them, turned themselves loose, atid enjoyed themselves as much as their owners.

The people at that day, as at the present, had their fashions. They were different, it is true, but the fashionable class, especially in the towns, adhered as closely to them as they do at the present time. Although pictures and descriptions of the old fashions appear queer and almost laughable to the people of the present day, yet we have often been assured that they were more comfortable and pleasant in every respect tlian those which curse the country now.