York County, Nebraska - Chapter 17: The Peess of York County, 1921

Press Railery The Daily Squawker The Local Newspaper

No adequate historical review of any subdivision of American government or territory can l)e compiled without very extensive aid from the newspapers of the particular territory. History is formed from the actions of the people of the community, day liy day, and it falls to the lot of the local newspaper to record this history as it is developed, and to do so wliile the facts and circumstances are fresh in everyone's minds. Therefore, not only should extensive reference and valuable reliance be placed upon the press of York County, but the following tribute can be appropriately paid to that important institution of the county's life in opening this chapter. The following is taken from tlie Union (N. Y.) Newspaper Dispatch, published therein in 1920:

"There are three most potent factors in the life, growth and development of a community. They are the church, the school and the newspaper, and this is in the order of importance.

''We will pass over the first two of these factors and perhaps treat of them later. If the churches were thrown out of this community no self-respecting person could stay here. With all our material prosperity we would soon drop back to conditions such as ancient Rome witnessed. And if the school were discontinued material progress would also stop and we would sink beyond redemption.

"The church is a public institution and is supported by voluntary contributions. The school is also a public institution and is supported by the state through taxation. The newspaper is a semi-public institution, but receives no public support. It has to earn its livelihood through the regular channels of competitive business.

"If all the newspapers and other periodicals were discontinued today the effect would be somewhat similar to a mighty plague sweeping over the land. Darkness would creep in, the darkness of intellect as people would remain in ignorance of the happenings in localities only a few miles distant. Business would slow down, and telegraph communication would soon fall into disuse because no stimulus would come from the newspapers. Even the post-office receipts would dwindle, for much of its revenue comes in direct response to advertising.

"The newspaper is the third great agency in the advancement of civilization, yet it is underestimated more often than the first two. It is too often treated as merely a hiisiness proposition. Few people seem ever to get the vision that tlie true-hlue editor has of using business to advance the interests of a whole community. The preaclier has one job - to preach ; the teacher has one job - to teach; but the editor, if he be true, has a triple job, and that is to teach and preach, and hardest of all, and with it all, too, to meet his weekly payroll, pay the other costs of production, and try to get a comfortable living - and we all have a right to that.

"Omitting the church and the school we can make claim witliout exagg'eration that a true newspaper is of more real importance, does more good with less money, gives more for less money, than any other Inisiness in a community. It is true that some will point to the large industries that flourish in the community and say that those concerns with their big payrolls form the life of the community. This we answer is only apparently so. This appears to be so from a superficial materialistic survey of the field. But the life is more than the food and clothing. The big industrial plants deal in wealth that is produced by labor, but the newspaper, besides dealing in news, deals in bigger things - thoughts."

The Press

The story of the press is that of civilization. Its history is that of the locality in which it is situated. It is the antiquarian, the historian, and the prophet. It makes or uunuikes parties ; establishes or destroys reputations ; perpetuates, or by its sin of omission, allows to perish, the records of the day. What, then, can be more interesting than a history of the press itself - a history of histories? And when, as is the case with the newspaper press of Y'ork County, this history extends back to a period almost preceding the civilization of the locality; when it almost antedates the days of the generation and touches upon the lives and actions of those who established the community, their social doings and business pursuits, then is it necessarily of a historical interest, second to nothing which can be written. It is to be regretted that space will not permit of a more extended collation of extracts, toitching upon the origin or the foundation of the things that exist today, the objection to such a presentation being that it would necessarily involve repetition of much of the early history of the city and county treated of in possibly a more appropriate place.

The Eablt Xewspapehs

The I'epublican. a very detailed historical review of which immediately follows this opening paragraph, is the oldest of the present newspapers of Y'ork County. But it was preceded by a couple of newspaper ventures. In May, 1872, F. H. White started the Y^ork Monitor, which he conducted until the fall of 1873, when he transferred the plant to E. F. Chittenden. Mr. Chittenden immediately changed the name of his enterprise to the Y'ork Eecord. In April, 1875, Messrs. Morgan and Ross took over the newspajjcr venture and issued one number, when they sold their interest to Messrs. Scott and Miller. These gentlemen named their newspaper issues the Sentinel, and after six months' participation, Mr. Miller sold his share to F. H. Gerard and the firm became Scott & Gerard. In a short time Mr. Gerard became the sole proprietor. In April, 1876, Messrs. Morgan and Ross purchased the plant and chauged the name to the York Eepublican. These changes are reviewed and noted in somewhat more detail, and carried forward in the following historical review of the Eepublican.

Upon the fortieth anniversary of its birth, the editor of the York Eepublican issued an elaborate birthday edition, wherein he not only reviewed the history of the paper but secured numerous reminiscences of "old timers" and those who had played a part in the "younger days of York" in making the wheels go around. The following historical review of the early days of the Eepulilican, published upon April 28, 1916, serves as a very effective method of reviewing the beginnings of the press in York County:

''On April 28, 1876, at the suggestion of W. B. Cummins, at that time county judge, W. E. Morgan, a homesteader living three miles east of the county seat, bought the Sentinel of E. H. Gerard, rechristened it the Eepublican and sent out volume one, nimiber one of the new newspaper. Its home was in the old B. & M. land office, built for F. A. Bidwell, on the west side of the square. The building outside was as meager as those pioneer days would suggest - a Washington hand press (Armstrong) and a job press of equally ancient pattern and a case of type to match. Some time in the spring and winter of 1878, or the spring of 1873, Mr. Whitehead started the Monitor, in Bell Brothers" store, on the site now occupied by Mr. Hannis. It lasted but a short time, but it was good while it lasted. Then E. F. Chittenden put out the Advocate on the south side of the square, and was followed by the Sentinel. One of the first steps taken was to go to the William Dayton fai-ni across the Blue Eiver to take Elmer away from the plow and start him in this reorganized print shop to run the mechanical end of the paper. Then Frank M. Eoss, another homesteader southwest of town, became a partner, but remained only a few mouths. Then Lee Love, who was elected to the Legislature that fall, took a half interest in the venture.

"The next winter the first petition for local option on the saloon question was worked off on the ancient 'jobber' and scattered among the church people of the various denominations of the state and sent out to the honorable lawmakers and made the first strong temperance impression on .tliat august body.

"The office did the work at its own expens^, paying the postage for distribution. A. 1j. McClelland became part of the mechanical force of the office. Later on, the plant was moved to the south side of Sixth Street, across the alley w'est of the First National Bank. Lee Love later sold his interest in the paper to E. E. Post, a brother of Judges A. M. and G. W. Post. Another move was made to the building on the street west of Lincoln Avenue, between Sixth and Seventh streets. Still another move placed it in the east room, under the old city hall on Sixth Street. Here Mr. Post thought he had a more attractive business opened at St. Paul, so severed his connection with the Eepublican and sold his half to A. L. McClelland and W. E. Dayton, who had hitherto been in charge of the printing part of the business. After the strain of his hard work and the struggle to pay for his holding in the plant was about accomplished, Mr. McClelland"s health failed and he was compelled to leave the paper, and lived but a short time. Mr. Dayton bought Mr. McClelland's share in the fall of 1888, and W. E. Morgan sold his interest to M. C. Frank, who in turn sold his portion to Mr. Dayton, who had been one of the pioneer printers of the state and who was one of the mainstays of the Eepublican

"AYlicn the pajier was ilrst issued Fairmont was the nearest railroad station. The county seat had only two or three hundred inhabitants. Now it is second to none of its size in the state, or any state, in nuji'al, social or business characteristics. While these changes were being wrought out the Republican has been a leader in reaching for higher ideals in all lines of activity.

"It might not be out of place to relate that the next month after the paper was first issued the Board of Commissioners had decided to license a li(pior saloon at their next meeting. The editor and a few kindred spirits concluded to meet with the board and protest against the issuance of a permit to put a saloon in the county. At the outset of that meeting it was ascertained that the county officers had nuule up their minds that the protest was useless. The protestants, however, insisted that the price of the license he fixed at the highest legal limit, that being $5,000 for the license and $4,000 for the bond. The l>oard granted this concession, but the applicant for the license thought that six months was too short a time for his fi'rst trial. So next November it will be forty years since the City of Y'ork proper has had a licensed saloon.

Following the above reminiscent letter of Mr. Morgan, the artick' of April 28, 1916, continues with the historical development of tliis enterprise and numerous other contrilnitions and excerpts recalling "old times."

The Republican

"For forty years the Republican has been an institution of Y^ork and Y'ork County. When it started in 1876, Y'ork was a struggling village with a population of a couple of hundred. It was seventeen miles to the nearest railroad and the Blue River lay between. The first efforts to establish a paper here were successive failures, and the Republican was the third attempt. Rev. W. E. Morgan and Frank Ross were the first to give it strength. Mr. Morgan was a pioneer Methodist minister, a man with high ideals and earnest desire to do some good in the world. He was soon succeeded by Morgan and Love. Mr. Love retired in a few years, and two young men who had been employed in the office were made partners, and subsequently the business became Morgan, McClelland & Dayton. Later Mr. Morgan retired from the business, which was carried forward l)y McClelland & Dayton until the death of Mr. McClelland, when W. E. Dayton became the sole proprietor and publisher. Later, M. C. Frank purchased an interest in the paper and became editor. Dayton & Frank continued together for a few years, when Mr. Frank sold his interest to Mr. Dayton, who became the sole owner, and remained so until his death.

"For a short time (I. \V. licniis edited the [laper prior to the death of Mr. Dayton, and for some time after his death, the estate of W. E. Dayton. T. E. Sedgwick and J. D. Field purchased the Republican about four years ago (1912) and consolidated it with the Daily and Semi-Weekly Times, with Mr. Sedgwick as its editor. About a vear later, Mr. Fields took the Daily Times and moved out, leaving IMr. Sedgwick with the Repiihlican, and since tlien the entire enterprise has l)een purchased by him, and lie is tiie sole owner, with the exception of one share which is owned by Miss Phila Sedgwick, who is associate editor."

In September, 1917, J. 6. Alden, who had been a successful newspaper man at Aurora, and from neighborhood experience was fairly well acquainted with the situation in York, purchased the Republican from T. E. Sedgwick, and for the past four years or more has conducted the paper in a modern, up-to-date manner that has added to its splendid record.

"From a village of a couple of hundred wlien the Republican was born, York has grown to be a city of six thousand, with all of the public improvements and evidences of wealtli that go to make a metropolis. The success of the Republican has grown with the growth of the community. As the wild, wind-swept prairie has become a garden, the bleak plains became fields of growing grass; as the beautiful rural homes have displaced the .soddy and the dugout, the Republican has found its way into three-fourths of all farm homes in York County and has become a welcome visitor to many who have removed from the county."

Two men stand out prominently in connection with the Republican and have left their imprint upon the press of York County no matter how long history runs into the future - W. E. Morgan and W. E. Dayton. Mr. Morgan steered it through its early struggles and stayect with it, faithfully working and denying himself many things to make it good. He remained when others deserted the .ship and found other employment. He relinquished it only when he was able to hand it over to men who he had the utmost confidence would keep it going. Mr. Dayton came to it as a boy from his father's farm on the Blue, and from "devil" rose until he was the sole owner for thirty years and gave all he had to the Repuldican. His service, his devotion and his energy were such as to entitle him to a very prominent place in its history and in the histoij of the York County press.

"Your re(|ucst for a few lines in memory of the days when I was editor and correspondent of the York Republican cauises the past to rise before me like a dream. Twenty or thirty years ago I wanted to mould public opinion. I have turned my mind backward to recall some of the men who did things at that time - men who left their imprint on the city and who worked on questions that came up for settlement - and I find, among many others who could be named, the following thinkers and leaders of my time on that paper: Dad Keckley, Joe Stricklet, Ed Lancaster, W. A. Beck, A. J. Newman, C. J. Nobes, John Chilcote, 0. Froid, Nels Ferguson, F. B. Daggy, Colonel Crabb, John Bremer, Dad Blodgett, John Reel, Barney Friel, A. S. Thomas, Jude Clark, Lee Love, J. C. Kingsley, Charles Le Count, John Etherly, T. IX Knapp, Benton Barnett, F. Baldwin, William Mapps, William Melton, F. B. Reed, Eli Chittenden, L. D. Stilson, Carpenter Morgan, W. E. McCloud, Alex. Stephens, Dave Meloy, Joe Boyer, Major Pembleton, George Rossiter, B. A. Warner, Wash Wirt, E. M. Cheney, I. H. Shieks, J. P. Small, Nate Johnson, Colonel Morrison, Lew Weeks, G. P. Chessman, Bob Lytle, Henry Poor, David Fisher, J. Raper, John Osborn, Will Meradith, S. Hubbell, Lafe Cline, William Glover, Peter Hull, Link Bell, Jerry Tondrau, Levi Sidwell, T. 0. Wright, Joe Newcomer, Phil Fink, Kim Sturgeon, Dick Price, J. K. Sheen, Dad Gould,

Jonathon Shaw, and George Hartbnrt. Professional men in those days included W. T. Scott, J. F. Hall, W. P. Connor, A. C. Montgomery, D. T. Moore, George B. France, J. C. Naylor, AV. W. Giffen, Judge Cummings, lawyers, and Doctors Eeader, Davis, McConaughy, Porter, Shidler, Eyau, Sedgwick, WyckofE, Carscadden, and S. V. Moore.

"May the present leaders and thinkers of York, twenty or thirty years from now be able to look back as delightfully as we do upon these men. I love those boys yet, and know those of them still there care for me."

The York County Tribune was inaugurated by Frank A. Wellman, a brother of the Walter Wellman who made the famous North Polar e.xpedition for the Chicago Record-Herald some fifteen or twenty years ago. Its first number was issued in March, 1877. It remained under the editorship of Mr. Wellman until the summer of 1880, at which time Messrs. Whedon and Culley became its proprietors. Mr. Whedon later became a notable figure in Nebraska press history through his many years of notable management of the Kearney Democrat. On March 85, 1882, Mr. J. C. Armstrong took possession of this plant. About this time its name was changed to the Democrat.

The York Democrat has been a notable member of the newspaper family of York County. Its publication under that name began in 1882 and has continued until this date. The paper was sold by Armstrong a short while later, and L. D. Woodruff was publisher in 1884. In 1885 Woodruff and Corcoran was the firm name of the owners of the plant. It was soon after that taken over by George F. Corcoran, who has remained the owner of this plant through the many intervening years, though his duties in court circles and legal practice have deterred his personal management of the paper, and it has been under many other guiding hands for various lengths of time. Through the later '80s and early '90s George F. Corcoran was editor of the paper. Through the later '90s, Dan T. Corcoran was editor most of the time. About IflOO it was conducted for a time by Corcoran and Frank, this firm being Dan T. Corcoran and Cliff Frank. There was a short period it was named the Teller-Democrat. When Judge Corcoran first purchased the paper, there was a period during which F. L. Whedon remained editor, and about 1892 H. C. Waldrip, who for many years has published the Scotia (Neb.) Register, was denominated as publisher for the Democrat. At another period Albert P. Sprague conducted this paper. But the longest period of service was that of Dan T. Corcoran. Will M. Maupin took charge of this paper in 1915 and conducted it for about three years. During this time his notable Midwest Magazine was issued from this office. When this talented writer left York in 1918, for a short time John E. Kavanaugh of Spalding, Neb., took the management of this paper, but it was turned over shortly to A. G. Ward, who has faithfully handled this enterprise for the last couple of years, and in 1921 is publishing a bright, breezy sheet.

The York Times, which has been the third newspaper in age in York, in competition with the Republican and the Democrat for the past forty years, was started on August 13, 1880, by Adams and Woolman. It was first published as the Tidal Wave. G. W. Woolman had sold his farm and came in during the summer of 1880 and started the Tidal Wave and conducted it for a few weeks during the campaign in the interests of the greenback currency campaign. When that mission was performed the new enterprise was taken over by Adams and Woolman and conducted for a few months as the York "Times." In March, 1881, this paper was taken over by Theron E. Sedgwick, who conducted it as a republican newspaper for many years, in fact until it was consolidated for a time with the Republican by Sedgwick and Field in 1912. A little while later Mr. J. D. Field took the Daily Times and Mr. Sedgwick took the Repulilican. Tliis paper was then sold to Thomas Curran of the York Blank Book Company and York News Company.

This paper is the one among the press of York which has been maintained for many years upon a daily basis. It was first is.sued as a daily in 1888. It has also at times been issued as a weekly and semi-weekly as well as a daily sheet. After it was sold to Mr. Curran it became consolidated with the York Daily News, which Mr. Curran was managing for the York Blank Book Company. For the past few , years it has been handled as the York Daily News-Times, and during 1920 Mr. T. E. Sedgwick returned to the newspaper fold and assumed the editorship of this paper.

In 1897 another newspaper was started in York, which is surviving in 1920 as the fourth York paper, the York Teller. It was organized by M. C. Frank in 1897 as a weekly sheet. He sold it some years ago to Miss Grace Moore, who, with the assistance of Mr. Bemis and her faithful staff, published a splendid paper under the name, the New Teller.

In 1889 local capitalists, mainly through the energy of the Sedgwicks, promoted the Nebraska Newspaper Union. This enterprise developed into an important institution, which made a business of collecting news items and articles from all sources imaginable, preparing the plates and furnishing these as "inside plate sheets'' to hundreds of smaller newspapers throughout Nebraska and some neighboring states. In 1910 this enterprise was sold to the Western Newspaper Union and York lost the same. But during its existence this company built the splendid fourstory building now used by the News-Times and York Blank Book Company as their business home.

Bradshaw has a very excellent newspaper, the Monitor, which has been published for several years by I. D. Beltzer. This paper is about twenty-five years old.

McCool Junction has a paper called the Blue Valley Journal, which began publication June 10, 1897. Mr. E. C. Gilliland and wife carried this enterprise through its first years of life, as editors, publishers and proprietors. I. L. Slagle was the publisher and editor in 1920.

Waco has a live newspaper called the Waconion. In 1920 tliis sheet was started by F. P. Shields of Tamora, who issues it in a very interesting book form, with pages 6x9 inches, usually twelve to sixteen pages, and different colors used for various pages.

The Pleasantries

York County journalism presents many interesting phases, and none more so than some of the departments of local humor and jesting "personality" indulged in by the various papers. Space prohibits any very lengthy excursion into this realm, but the comjiiler has selected a few excerpts from the Lazy Man's Corner, conducted for many years during the late ".Sfls and early "90s by the Democrat, and a few similar excerpts from the Squawker, of the past few years, conducted by the Xew Teller.

Believing that the reader will accept the older pleasantries of forty years ago with the same spirit of understanding that the current ribaldries are taken, these are included for purposes of contrast and comparison, and to give a balanced conception of this interesting jihase of newspaper work.

Leroy, Feb. 26, 1886. To the Faithful : - Having organized a caucus on Lazy Man's Corner, and knowing that the success of all societies depends on the grit and integrity of the members, we are holding under consideration the projjriety of admitting to membership our honorable, his higli mightiness, our ex-supervisor; and if received into the fold of the faithful, we propose to make him the Grand Mogul, for we all know that he can get more solid comfort out of a dry goods box and a good jackknife than any of the faithful. We shall ]>robably be obliged to stay his initiation "till the ice runs out of the creek, or till tlie oh-he-joyful gets cheajier as a cold chill would be dangerous to a lazy man, and he being hollow to the tops of his boots, it would take about four gallons of old Bourbon to fill him up.

Chairman Wenihill looked very handsome with a quid (}f tobacco, and his linen duster buttoned up with brass buttons, which gave him a decidedly military appearance. The chairman said we should all return thanks that the winter was so far advanced that we could liear the squeak of the wild goose and lie on the south side of the straw stack, in the warm sun, and play seven-u]). The chairman said the delegate they sent to Lincoln to get offices for the club had lieen very successful. He had succeeded in getting an ollice I'm' cai-li inciul>cr of the chili. Imt unfortunately, like 09 out of every 100 applicants for office at Lincoln, this winter, our inauguration does not take place for two years yet. The chairman then announced that the old year had expired, and the new year began on the 4th of March, the same as Congress. At the beginning of the new year. Secretary Small would report how each member's account stood on the ledger. The secretary then read : Lyman Miller, Cr. - To drinking 21 gallons of boss medicine, 3 kegs of beer, and one gallon of gin. Dr. - By drinking one quart of water.

Wendall, Cr. - By going to 20 dances, 13 card parties, 3 raffling matches and one dozen fights. Dr. - To going to Sunday school once, but made a mistake and went on Saturday. To going to church once, but did not get there until church was out.

The .secretary announced that the rest of the member's account was not posted. The I'liairman said he wanted to give the club a little advice, at the beginning of the new j'ear : Figuratively speaking, we were now standing with one foot on the caboose of the past year, as it went thundering down the foggy road of the fast fading past, laden with politicians who had been false to the people, and traded their souls for a free pass and a few dollars. There were several Methodist preachers aboard, of Lincoln University notoriety. The Omaha Herald was engineer, the Omaha Republican, conductor and the editor of the York Repulilican, peanut boy, on said train. Our other foot on the cowcatcher of the new year, as it comes rushing around the curve, with steam up and brakes off, laden with good resolutions and promises of the new year. Every member should firmly resolve that during the coming year he will do nothing worse than whip his wife, steal, and vote the democratic ticket. But man was so prone to evil, and naturally depraved, that he was afraid' they would forget all these good resolutions, and before dog days, be reading the anti-monopoly editorials of the York Repuldican, and drinking mixed drinks and be guilty of all the crimes that would naturally follow such a course. As the chairman took hi.s seat, Tom Pence passed around his old boss medicine, winter prescription. Luckey played on his jewsharp and Carter danced. The chaplain then arose and said if he could always live in such society as this, he would like to turn to a scruldling and live forever. He said the cluli must not disband, as this club and the Methodist preachers and the saloons had to elect our Jim once more to Congress, which was going to be a big job, unless a certain man took the cramp cholera. Magna Charta.

July 1, 1886. Wendall, on taking the chair, said we would have to curtail the boundary of the Corners or have more drug stores or larger bottles, as our supjjly of stimulants was insufficient. Carter moved that as "Wendall was done gathering corn he be allowed to go to the celebration on the Fourth. Carried by a rising vote. Vandeventer then took the floor and stated he had been away out west in Custer and Sherman counties among the Indians and Buffaloes; had several narrow escapes, but his beauty saved him. When he got to Grand Island he heard that James Hamilton, Powers, Scott, and several other parties from York were in town. He wanted to find them and of course went to the saloons (which are every other house in town) but they were not there, nor had they been there. He went to the police and stated the facts and told them he was satisfied they had lieen foully dealt with. The police laughed and said if they were from York he would find them at the drug stores, as Yorkites never patronized saloons for it was a little disgraceful, besides it was more economical to deal with drug stores. This satisfied him as he knew habit was second nature. Secretary Small then read a communication from the York ring stating that Doctor Knaj)p had changed to a Van Wyck man, as he thought a man running for governor of Nebraska as anti-Van Wyck would be in as poor a business as a farmer raising corn for the railroads. Also, Laird is to be elected to Congress, Knapp, gov- ernor; then all hands are to join and elect Laird United States senator. Governor Knapp will appoint Judge Post to fill the vacancy, then the millennium is close at hand. All members of the L. M. C. were ordered not to read the Y^ork Times, as it was no good. Henry Smith wanted to know what the railroads would tink ven dey see Knapp mit der "\"an Wyck beoples. The chairman said as long as Knapp kept in go(jd company like Post, Laird, and the Y^'ork Republican it was no difference he said the railroads were satisfied. Lyman Miller said if we could get Bill McCloud to support Van Wyck he would be defeated for Bill never supported a nuui in his life but what he was defeated.

Wendall and Sovereign have stopped plowing their corn, for they were afraid they would spoil their hay crop as they think their corn ground will make two tons of foxtail hay to the acre. They say every farmer could raise enough foxtail hay to do them, like they do if it was not for laziness.

Hutchison was fined the usual pint for addressing the chairman lying down in the corner of the hall. The chairman remitted the fine because he was unable to stand up; his medicine did not agree with his stomach. As he lay in the corner he sang "We Won't Go Home 'Till Morning."

The club met after a two weeks" recess, caused partly by cold weather, partly by scarcity of boss medicine, and partly by having failed to sell our votes at the late election, to purchase winter clothing; consequently our faded summer clothes were rather thin, to attend club meetings on stormy nights, when stimulants were scarce.

Chairman Wendall said to economize light Secretary Small would sit behind the lamp in such a position that his bald head could be used for a reflector to the lamp.

Miller moved that the committee on stimulants report immediately, as he was very dry; he had been confined to the house during this cold weather, while his wife wore his boots to do the chores. Vandeventer then passed several bottles of St. Joseph whiskey. Hutchison said im wonder Missouri gave 40,000 democratic majority; after drinking such good medicine, he felt like voting the democratic ticket himself. Vandeventer then, as special reporter of the corners, of the late railroad excursion to St. Joseph, reported as follows: The committee, twenty-five of us in number, all opposed to voting bonds, left York for Grand Island. Arrived at Grand Island, found corn 3 cents per bushel higher there than at Y'ork; wheat, 10 cents; hogs, 25 to 50 cents higher; coal, from $1.25 to $2.75 per ton cheaper at the Island than at Y^ork. All these figures had no effect on the committee. Then T. W. Smith, who was acting as commissary general, took us to a place called a saloon; says, ''Gentlemen, what will you have? Beer, whiskey straight, brandy sling, whiskey mash, ginger rum or cocktail?" We all answered in the affirmative. When all had their drinks on the counter ready to drink, T. W. said : "Boys, I am for bonds; what are you for?" We all said, with a loud voice, and a clear conscience, "We are for taking something."' We took something, by a large majority. After repeating the operation, ad injinJLtuin, we took a vote on the bond question, which was carried unanimously. We then took supper, then something else. Then we were all in favor of doubling the amount of bonds that were asked. We took a sleeping car for St. Joseph, or rather the car took us. The porter thought it^ a curious crowd; for some bunks had four in them, others one, and some none; some slept on the floor. We arrived at St. Joseph the next morning. Eiding on the cars gave us all the headache, and we were very dry. After drinking some Missouri Eiver water we felt better, but towards night it began to make us act very singular. Some seemed very serious, others very hilarious, but all were in good humor except J. B. Allen, who saw something he did not like, and began feeling for his revolver, but luckily it had no cap on.

St. Joseph is a fine city, but the sidewalks are too narrow for men like us who are used to broad prairies ; in fact, they were so narrow^ we were in the street about half the time. The citizens, with southern hospitality, treated us so kindly that we will never forget it, especially the treating part. Your humble representative was a great favorite with the ladies, on account of his beauty. We will say right now, if they ever want any more bonds in this county, we speak for the job to go to St. Joseph to investigate.

We all l)rought back stimulants to do us till the bonds were carried, except the representatives from Morton, who failed to get enough to keep them up to the voting point, till election. (.)ur captain, T. W. Smith, says he never can forget the kindness of the police of St. Joseph, in helping him collect his crowd and put them aboard the cars. By 9 o'clock they had collected about one-half the crowd in a place called a station (not a railroad station) ; the rest he hauled to the cars in a carriage called a dray. We all got home safe, except one man who got hurt trying to come down a flight of stairs, headforemost at one step.

P. S. The committee was the most temperate crowd I ever saw (under the circumstances; even such men as Buckley, Woolstenholm and Small were perfectly solter all the time. Chairman Wendall said he would deliver his lecture as soon as the weather was warm enough to wear summer clothes. We think the singular conduct of the committee at St. Joseph was caused by climatic and atmospheric condition.

Chairman Flock ordered the janitor to tine Otto Hutchison a quart of boss medicine, a deck of cards and a fine-tooth comb for trying to put on style, by eating pie with one hand and a fork. The chairman said when he saw a naturalized or native-born American citizen of tolerable sound mind, dissecting pie with a fork and one hand, he lost all self-control, and it was lucky for the culprit that the bylaws and constitution of the club positively prohibited capital punishment. The janitor was ordered to collect said fine, and pay it into the commissary for the general use of the club.

Hon. Eichard Johnson (colored) saidjie wanted the people of this district to understand that he had not declined to run for Congress. He also wanted everybody to know that his health was good, except he had raised some gum boils on his fingers, picking the banjo. He was like General Sheridan, there was some dispute as to where he was born. Some said in the United States, while other good authorities said he was born in Missouri; while otliers equally as knowing said it would have been best for his mother and the community at large if he had not been born at all. Chairman Flock said so many of our great men were dying so suddenly it nuide him feel a little weak in the knees. It looked as if the next great man that would be called to settle his accounts would be him or Bismarck. As he had done a few little inaccuracies (when a boy) that were not just according to Hoyle's unabridged dictionary, he had consulted Chaplain Briley, who thought telegrajih flash the news throughout the length and thickness of this land, that Chairman Flock had collected the last delinquent tax list and last hard debt, and he would be called on to preach his funeral and eulogize his many shortcomings. That the club hall be draperj in mourning and each member would be required not to drink anything for twenty-four hours that was flavored with alcohol. All would say the chairman was a good man of the kind. That lie was like the rest of the club, a very promising man ; that is, he promised a great deal but performed little. He would be missed by many, especially his wife, who would not have to take in washing to support him. The chairman said he wanted to join the best church, so his credentials would be a kind of a recommend so he w^ould not have to depend entirely on his own platform. When he went out on the streets to see which church's members did the best, he could see no difference. In fact, he could not tell by their conduct, a church member from a son of a gun from Omaha.

Chaplain Briley in conclusion said there were some things he would like to see. He would like to see a lawyer that knew enough law and was honest enough that when you paid him to tell you the law on a certain point, you would not have to go into court and pay a hundred dollars' cost to find out that he was mistaken. He would like to see a doctor that knew enough medicine and had confidence enough in his ability, to take his own medicine when sick. He would like to see a church member do in practice what he preached in theory. In other words, he wanted to see a church member that when he said a thing, we knew it was a fact because we knew he was a church member and not because we knew he was a truthful man. He would like to see a church member that had a horse to sell or- trade that was more than "nine years old next spring." He would like to see a church member have such a regard for truth that you would know he was a member of the church by his boss he was trying to sell you being more than "nine years old next spring." He would like to see a merchant that was not selling goods at "less than cost," for when you buy goods of a man that is selling at "less than cost," then find out that you have paid twenty-five per cent more than you would have to pay the man that is selling for a good profit, it makes a man feel like he had declined a nomination for office, and your constituents had accepted your declination.

The club met in Newman's ofiice, chainnan Flock presiding, sitting on a chair. The reason he did not preside standing was because he had more than he could stand lately. The reasons the club had not met for some time are various and very serious. Firstly, since the election Joe Boyer would let no one have stimulants on time, hut the independents. It seemed to him that all the good things of this world was for the exclusive benefit of the independents. Secretary C. A. McCloud took the -$250 that was sent to York for the use of this club and its friends to beat prohibition and bet it on the election, and we have so far failed to see any of said

$250, or the $250 he was sure to -win. We hegiu to suspect that he bet it on the wrong boss, as a good deal of his money went in the same way. We begin to feel a little weak in the stomach. If we had that $250 and the $850 we ought to have won we would have been heeled for this winter. Thirdly, we have had no place to hold our club meetings, as all through the late lamented campaign we held our meetings in the rooms of the republican committee, but since the election we could never get a quorum in said committee rooms because most of the members of this club was afraid of graveyards, ghosts, and haunted rooms. In rooms where great men have been killed in cold blood, strange noises are heard and blood-curdling phantoms flit about the room. The paraphernalia of the late campaign that was left in the aforesaid rooms looked as forlorn and desolate as a graveyard of a dark night. Our members could have stood all this, but were afraid they might hear an echo of one of those soul-stirring speeches that were delivered by Hon. E. A. Gilbert, Hon. J. W. Small, and Hon. T. Eddy Bennett. We were compelled to hear said speeches before the election, but now we are afraid of an echo of them after night. The chairman said the club was now ready for business. Hon. Richard Johnson (colored) said as there were no stimulants to stimulate us to deeds of daring and desperation. Choirmaster T. J. Hatfield would please sing that soul-stirring campaign song he sang so feelingly during the late campaign, entitled "McKeighan Running Through the Corn, Watch Him or He Will Take Another Horn." As T. J. Hatfield arose to sing the song, E. A. Gilbert took the croup, C. A. McCloud took a fit, J. W. Small, the flatulency; N. A. Dean took the cholera infantum and the janitor took the singer out of the room. The singing of campaign songs was laid on the table. Hon. Richard Johnson (colored) then continued his remarks. The poet said "The saddest words ever penned, was, it might have been." The man that -wrote that thought he was saying something smart and wise, but had never been through a political fight resulting like the late cusseil disaster. He did not care a cuss for what "might have been." What is and what is to be, is what looks so appalling to this club. To see Tom Smith, Corcoran, Governor Kelso, Hurlbut, J. D. P. Small, Jerry Martin, Captain El)erhardt, (ieorge Bowers, et al., talking right before our eyes, and in our hearing in this fashion : "We will put this independent in Doc. Xewman's place. That one in Shreck's place, the other one in Reader's place," etc. Just as though there had never been a republican party in the county, nor ever would be again. This is what made Chairman Flock's liair so white. It was not caused by excessive piety, hard drink, high living or fast women, but trouble over the downfall of our nation, for the farmers don't know any more about how to run a government than I did about those hides a coup?e of years ago. We won't miss the offices so much as we will the salaries attached tliereto. This grand old party must be reorganized. We must have better discipline, so when a man wants to withdraw from the party we must draw him back again. This want of discipline was the cause of our present trouble, and M. C. Frank is the cause of it all. When he demanded McKeighan to withdraw from the late campaign on account of his record if he had enforced strict discipline and made him withdraw all this sorrow and trouble woulil have iK'en avoided. You see, it was a bad example when Frank failed to make Mc. withdraw. Nobody would withdraw but republicans. It looks like most all of them had withdrawn. John Kelso offered the following preamble and resolutions :

Sometimes On Itself

The press, neither pioneer or modern, does not always parry its thrusts at other towns, hut sometimes indulges in n little ])layl'ul humor directed at its own town. Evidencing this, we reproduce from the York Xew Teller of February 26, 1913: Wliat's in a Name? - After Mature Deliberation It Is Decided to Change Yorh's

Xow that complaint has been made about it, the Xew Teller has decided to change it. Our readers are invited to make suggestions, to which no attention will be paid, though the names of the suggesterers will be published in huge, fat, black, juicy type.

Mrs. Pankhurst sent a cablegram as soon as she got out of jail this morning: "Why not name it 'Pork' ? Your ball team is always on tlie \ng train."

A wireless message came at six o'clock tomorrow evening, signed by the three memliers of the W. C. T. U. in Grand Island. It read: "We suggest the name 'Cork" for your town, as your ball team habitually gets it in the neck.'"

W. G. Boyer, who was connected with the York Alfalfa Mills, sent this by parcels post: "Call it 'Fork' - there would be some point to that. It might attract some pitchers for the ball team."

Though it can't possibly get here before next week, a telegram is momentarily expected from Mr. Woodrow Boat of Fairview, which will say: "Don't get discouraged. Xame it 'Yorrick.' The fans in the state league have been saying, 'Alas, poor Yorrick !" for two seasons."

Jim Dahlman expressed this, collect, expressly from Hot Springs: "I understand j^our mayor and city council are protesting against the name of your city, and will submit the proposition to the voters at a special election. Spare the useless expense, since York will continue to be known in Douglas County as 'The Holy City."'

So the Xew Teller has decided not to change the name after all, though, by all the violets that ever growed, we've got just as darn good a right to change it as anyone else.

The old-time newspaiier showed more real partisan bitterness and exercised more intense vitriolic abuse than the modern press is accustomed to display. Just a couple of excerpts indicative of this phase of newspaper "penmanship"" are here included :

"The repul)lican party in Xebraska fairly roars for fear the iwpulist party has been swallowed l)y the democratic party and because the free-silver republicans have also been gulped down by this cannibalistic brute. There - there, dear, don't fret. You're too old and senile to be startled by such bogie stories. We promise that 'the Gobble"un shan't get vou," and we"ll sure trounce anyone who scares you again.

Histoey Of York Couxty 769

"What a jjrecious old hypocrite you are, to be sure; and what a transparent dodge you are trying to work in this campaign. A few weeks ago your man Johnson was describing the slimy, spiney, unswallowableness of the dread Glasticutis of Anarchy that had its hole in Polk County, the fearful Jabberwock of populism and the Willowpus wallopus of free-silver republicanism and a tliousand other snaky things that made us dream of prehistoric natural history, and now he tells us that the democratic party has swallowed all this menagerie: Ye gods, what a digestion the democratic party must have. If the story of Jonah's whale is an allegory, this must be something worse, and thafs what we guess it is. Tell another.

"And now a word to the faithful : Don't waste any time worrying yourselves about the men of the democratic party unless it should eat something that would disable it for this campaign. Our populist organization is complete and more efficient than it ever was before. The republicans know that unless they can start discord in our ranks, we are certain to make the dry bones rattle from Chadron to Peru as they never did before in Nebraska.

"And now comes the Times, a little two-for-a-cent sheet and by courtesy called a daily, published over on the north side of the square, and attempts to sneer the Democrat out of town because it dare to venture an honest criticism upon the policy of the public school emliarking in the show business. The trouble was occasioned by an article in last week's Democrat commenting ujton the production of the opera, 'Little Tycoon,' by the public school. This paper asserted upon reasonably good authority, information and belief that such practices had a certain demoralizing effect upon the school and its work for good. The Times does not take kindly to this idea, but closes its article in last Friday's daily thus:

" 'Now that is the gospel as expounded by the Democrat. It savors of the mould and moth of fifty years' accumulation. The real facts are that never before was such interest taken in the schools and .school work, both by pupils and parents, as during the present year. The "Little Tycoon" was given to raise money for the library, and to that end the pupils united with their friends and worked hard for the successful termination of the undertaking. True, some pleasure and enjoyment was derived from its preparation, but where is the mossback who will dare venture the assertion that it was not of a wholesome nature, or that it had a "demoralizing effect upon the school and its work for good." The schools have been doing most excellent work and, as it may seem strange to the Democrat, right through the "Little Tycoon" season. The venture terminated successfully in every particular. It awakened more interest in the schools, and the pupils worked with more zest and energy. It is the opinion of the Times that Professor McClelland understands his business pretty thoroughly, and don't need newspaper suggestions.'

"The Democrat is sorry for the Times. We have no desire to keep up this controversy, knowing that to go into all the facts must result in a detriment to the York high school. Even if the Times and Professor McClelland do not know it, this paper knows that a very large aud respectable number of the patrons of school district Xo. 18 are not satisfied with the venture of the high school in the show business. Many good men who have children in the school have spoken in terms concerning the matter that cannot be misunderstood. We have yet to meet a man that indorses the venture. There is no need to compromise pupils, or innocent par- ticipants to go into facts. The Democrat may be a mossback, but it certainly dares to assert that such practices are not calculated to benefit the school, and in so saying we do not fear those who make the inquiry as to who 'dare venture the assertion.' There are a great many facts connected with this matter which would not appear well in print, and we sincerely hope that there will be no need of making them pulilic. Professor McClelland may 'understand his business pretty thoroughly and may not need newspaper suggestions,' but he evidently needs some suggestions from a board of education, with backbone enough to drive the theatrical craze out of the public schools."

The Daily Squawker Issued Any Darn Time We Please Or Oftener

Candidate Cox, who is caudidating for the presidency on the democrat ticket, it is alleged, was had to stop in York a Monday last to pay visit to the editor of the -vScjuawkier. We were pleased to receive the extinguished guest - he must lie extinguished on ac'ct he went out on the Burlington. We received him uii his special train for iffen he had came down town he might a staid to lunch. "Hullo, Cox," said we. "Hullo, Squawker," he brilliantly replied. "What do you want?"' asked we, with our usual kindly hospitality. "Will you vote for me?"' asked he face-blank. "Naw," said we. "Why not," asked he. "Because you have not got no nickname," said we, "and we do not like to vote for a man who has not got no nickname." "Why don't you give me one?" asked he. "Because we can"t think of nothing," w^e sorrowfully replied, "unless it would be 'Foxy Cox,' or 'Proxy Cox,' or 'Smallpox Cox.'

"To speak of sox is very bad taste," said he. "Some sox is," said we, "in very bad odor on ac'ct they are so loud, but we refer to the nice, quiet, refined silk ones like what the poor workingmen and iioliticians and tiie chorus girls wear - they all have to have 100 per cent silk sox un ac"ct they kick so nuieh, Init 2 per cent kick is enough for the great middle class." "I ain't no reactionary,'" said he. "Neither is Harding,"' said we, for we were on, he was reputed to be running for office. "Harding hasn't got no nickname eytlier," said he. "No," said we, "you have both got hick-names and (hivned if we"ll vote for eyether one of you."' Oir metal and made up our mind that Mr. Cox couldn"t tell any bigger lie than we could even if - "Whom will you vote for then?"" asked he. "We rather think we"ll vote for Debs," said we. "Because he's got a nickname?" asked he with a sneer. "Because he's in jail," said we, "for iffen we've got to Iiave a reactionary anyhow, you'll have to admit that he's much safer and probably just as sane as eyether one of you. We would as soon vote for a jailbird as a railbird." "I don't need your vote," said he. "That's why you got a special train," said we. "Toot-toot !" said the engineer. "That's a pretty weak toot," said we. "Aren't you going to fix it so that underpaid engineer can get at least a two per cent toot when he wets his whistle ?" "Tut-tut !" said Mr. Cox. "Toot-toot!" said the engineer. "Ta-ta," said we. Such is life.

Sossiefi/ Carl Behling, a hot-dog merchant from Long Beach, is in the city at jircscnt. He looks sheepish when you ask him how he likes the West.

Sports York lady golphers skun Hastings ditto recently. We don't want to get Jawn Raeside, our perfessional, in bad but it should be recorded, for its scientific value, that Jawn states that it is a well established fact, proven by figures, that the better looking a lady golpher is the poorer game she plays. We ho])e the Hastings contingent will give our players a return match in the

Eddytorial We are among the few who are not in any desperate hurry to see prices come down, and we are in still less of a hurry as we note that they are putting the skids under wheat, just as we expected.

Kit considers the space more imjiortant than anything else. She is willing and anxious any time to cut out the Squawker to make room for ads. Nobody appreciates us l)ut the fat bartender in at Guy & Buck's place on the corner, and he ain't right in the head. Sometimes we get so mad we are ready to quit, and then we remendier the way to get even is to keep right on.

Histoey Of York Couxty

in Turkey Where it's murky and it's dirkey - I'd rather far in old York County be I'd hate to be " in Turkey, The subject makes me jerky ; But I do not mind when Turkey Is in me.

We hear tell ez how out there in Loekridge Township Cash Newman wuz had to git accorded th' complimentiary and surprizin' testimonial uv one vote fer county jedge. Th' boys wuzn't gonna enter the result on the pole book, fust off, but Cash says ez how he rockoned they had better do so, ez long ez th' vote wuz cast an' counted accordin' tew dew process uv law, an' he would make it prety durned hot fer "em iffen they neglected thet there little ceremony of enterin' it in th' books. Waal, th' boys argued with Cash a spell, an' telt him thet they didn't like f enter thet there one lettel lonesome vote fer him ez it looked like a joke someone wuz playin' onto him, er mebbe some half-wit had snuck in the bootli an' then dropped thet there vote in th" box while they wuzn't lookiii'. I!ut Cash sed he guessed there wuzn't nuthin' so blamed foolish erbout thet vote ez fur ez he could see; thet it wuz th' most sensible vote he seen cast thet day, an' how did they know until all tlr" returns wuz in how he wuz runnin" in th' other townships, fer th' good uv all. He sed he took thet vote plumb serious, an' he made a lettel speech an' thanked which ever one it wuz in the crowd thet bed did him th' honor an' he sed thet while he might be defeated still there wuz no denyin' thet he had made a surprizin' gain over last year, an' hed every reason t' feel gratified over th' increase uv 100 per cent in his hum precinct. An' he sed he would like t' call th' attenslum uv his enemies, an' point 'ith pride t' his friends ez how he took a easy second place, an' iffen this here cheap politicul crook, Harry Hopkins, hedn't spent oodles of tainted money which he had wrenched fr'm th' pockets uv th' poor, he wouldda beat him hands down. An' then th' boys tolt Cash they reckoned thet 't wuz easy t' tell who voted fer him, 'n they guest it wuz lucky he didn't get no more 'n one vote er it would a become their painful dooty 't arrest him fer repeatin'. An' what Cash sed then won't bear repeatin' in good society. And he telt 'em iffen they sed tew much he would demand a recount. Lby Clithero sed he wouldn't advise him tew dew that - sed he might lose that there vote if he did. Such is life.

Mighty near it had a ])old bank robbery the other night. Josh Cow caught a couppla birds, one of .same being Jack Crumpaugh, an alleged eni])Ioye, lurking around the basement and called the night police. The night police crawled in a window and was going to cut loose with a gat and only desisted when he iliscovered he didn't have his gat along. Jack and his accomplish (we haven't heard whom) claimed they had come in there to skin a mink. We are innocent and unsuspecting, but iffen a coupla guys were caught in tnir bank and they t'hiiiiied thcv come in there to skin a mink we would tell tliein j.o go tell that to the judge, even iffeu they did have a mink along to prove it with. Still, on second hand, there is considerabul skinning done in banks - in fact, they are darn near it packing-houses when it comes to skinning there customers, so let the story ride. We understand Jack got his key tooken up on him by Josh.

It may come to pass that some of the people who were not satisfied with ten dollars a day will be tickled to death with two. We sincerely hope not, but such is life.

Truth is stronger than fiction. The other night we were hastening home in a driving snowstorm, on ac'ct we could not afford to hasten home in a taxicab, and as we crossed the street near the meeting house, we met a large barrel rolling sullenly down tlie pavement. We looked at it twicet and then we never believed it until it knocked our feet out from under us and we fell over it quite emphatically. We told Kit about it when we got home, and she looked stern and asked us where we had been. We couldn't make her believe anybody had lost a barrel while doing their Christmas shopping surly. The next morning we learned that it was our own rain barrel that had attackted us whilst we stood transfixe<l with astonishment. The boys of the neighborhood had borrowed same, along with our ladder, to barricade the street for their sleighing operations, thereby nearly sleighing us with our own rain barrel. Bless the boys ! They can have any darn thing we've got, but we want to be absolved from responsibility, iffen they don't keep there rain barrels tied up.

Sossiety News Grace is quite an observant cuss. Frinstance, it was had to snow quite heavily last week, for the good of all. Grace observed the next morning on her way down town to loaf that everybody had their walks cleaned off, except the lawyers and editors. Her walk wasn't cleaned off, and neither was Bill Kirkpatriek's nor Ed Sandall's. Then she got along all right till she got down to Ed Gilbert's, and the walk in front of Ed's place looked like a cut on the Burlington after a three days' whizzard. When she got as far as the Squawker's palatial re.sidence she said she had to back up and make a running start in order to eat her way through the mountainous drifts, and when she finally labored through there was snow clinging to the fringe on her bonnet, and her face was so full of same she would, if she had been a goat, have been compelled to amputate her whiskers before she could have taken a chew of tobacco

Doe Sliidler lias us deeply in his debt on acVt he wrote last week's Squawker so we could go fishing for the good of all. This is three or four times Doc has come to the rescue in this neighborly fashion, and we appreciate it more than we could well mention without becoming maudlin. Thanks, Doc, and any time you want us to help cut out a appendix or anything, don't hesitate to call on us.

In last week's paper by a slip of the typewriter we inadvertently referred to Gnat Dean as police judge when we should have said B. A. Ward. We apologize to both of them. Judge AVard may recover from the cruel blow in time, but he is inconsolable at present. Gnat Dean, as our readers well know, is our ju.stly celebrated dam contractor, who is one of the best dammers in the country and can dam anything large or small, while Judge Ward is dammed by everybody and gets even by saying five and costs.

I'xilnj Slioir (Jet your babies fat and in good condition for the Better Babies show to be held in conjunction with the county fair September 20-24th, for the good of all. E. B. Woods, chairman of the Better Babies Committee, with Evert Gonld and Charlie Stroman. the other members, have been working like demons to make the show a winner, and they announce that it is beyond peradventure of a doubt it will prove a howling success. Chairman Woods says that safety-pins will lie furnished free as jier usual, and talcum powder can be bail at cost on the premises. He is also glad to announce that while in the past the prizes for pigs have been somewhat larger than those offered for babies, he has succeeded in getting the ajijiropriation enlarged so that the babies will now be given an even break with the pigs.

'"Looking for an Issue with Which to Win" was the headline carried by the Sunday papers, referring to the republican and democratic parties. They didn't use to be so frank and ingenuous about these things, but they're wearing 'em higher this year.

We see where the Standard Oil Company has declared another quarterly dividend of about steen millions. We are in favor of passing the hat for the poor harassed stockholders of that bankrupt institution that the government has ruined along with the railroads and the sugar trust and the packers and the shoe manufacturers. With oil getting so scarce and everything gasoline will just have to go to .seventy-five cents per gallon. The poor devils - how it must wring their tender hearts to have to rai.se the prices !

We regret very much to note by his recent speech in the newspapers that Congressman McLaughlin is fast degenerating into a typical politician. Mac succeeded in accomplishing the impossible when he secured the nomination against the wishes and desires of every politician in his district, but now, evidently, a coterie of Washington politicians have dragged him into their committee meetiijgs, coached him to be a regular, and Mac is spouting about "one-man-iX)wer'' like the rest of the ward heelers. Cut it out, Mac. You may ride along on the crest of a party wave for a while, but when it subsides you will be left stranded on the rocks along with the small frv.

A Dinner Dance There was had to lie a climiei' dance pulled off down at the new hutel the other night. A dinner dance is like a cabaray only more swell, and you get something to eat at a cabaray. Some of the men folks had a good time, and others wore their dress suits. There was also some low dresses worn, and the other decorations were in strict keeping with the exclusiveness of tlie function which was held in the hutel lobby, only they et in the dining room. When our York full dress society gets started, it can pull off stunts on the same lavish scale as London, Paris, New York, French Kick Springs, where the Pluto comes from, Palm Beach, and South Omaha. And we can think of nothing more edifying than to see York's high society dancing in the hutel lobby for the good of all. It is the best kind of advertising for our fair city, on ac'ct there is quite a few traveling men hanging around the hutel at all times, and they get to see that our society is just as swell as the best of them. And the scene must have been one of bewildering beauty as viewed by opery glasses from the mezzanine (this word has only been added to York's vocabidary recently, but all it means is low) floor, which same is reached either by the marble staircase or the electric lift when the same is in running order. The Squawker editor was not invited to this society event of the season, no doubt through some technical error or other slight oversight on the part of the invitation committee, which same neglected to send us a free pass to same for the good of all, but if we had been there we would have taken keenest delight in viewing the fairylike scene as the sylphlike, dress suited forms of Bill Overstreet, Bill Bover, Charlie McCloud and we don't know who in thunder else floated acerost the tessellated floor like thistledown, as it were, guiding their lighthearted, lightfooted, lightheaded companions gracefully hither and yon, through the mystic mazes of the skimmy.

We think a good time was had by all but Bill Overstreet, whom, we understand, has been heard to .state since that he prefers some dinner along with the dance at a dinner dance, and that he was weak with hunger, as the fish he drew for lunch looked like a preserved minnow that had been fished with for bass and drew several strikes so it was in a draggled condition. Otherwise a good time was had by all.

There is some interesting figures in York society when you come to consider the same. We do not mean legs - we mean statistics. The figiTres show that York .society is much more exclusive than New York society. For example, there is fewer members of York's 400 than there is of New York's 400. There is 40(1 members of New York's 400, but there is only 56 members of York's 400.

There is fourteen dress suits owned by male butterflies of society in York. One of these dress suits is new. In York it is a fad t(j wear the dress suit for either morning or afternoon functions. A few extremists wear them in the evening.

The Sunday supplement of Worst's Sunday Examineher, which is the authority for style with York society, announces, we are j)leased to note, that white gloves are no longer being worn at any social functions aside from husking bees. This will be quite a relief to our social favorites, as it is quite a job to remenil)er to take same

If there ii^ no high silk hats being worn in York, it is only because oiir loeal clothiers have neglected to lay in a stock of same, and not because our social gadabouts arc too tight to purchase the same if they could be had. The hats are all high but they arc not silk. Anyhow our society when it goes to the diamond horseshoe circle at the Sun to enjoy grand opery goes in the luxurious towering car, the ford or the taxicab, and what is the use of wearing a high silk hat inside an allleather top where nolmdy can see the same, we ask?

society at present. We have not said who owns this goat, but she is quite prominent in society - that is, the lady, not the goat. The goat would no doubt be strong for society if given the opportunity, but the goat fad seems quite hard to establish, and goats are a drug on the market at present. The goat in question is a brown plush one, and lends it.self readily to the fashionable tans in color schemes of decoration. To our notion, if leading goats around became fashionable, as. up to the hour of going to press, it has failed to become, it would be much more sensible than leading chow dogs around. Besides, goats give milk, and do not bark and chew' all the fringe off the lounge in the Ijest room.