Ames Township (part 4 of 4)

In Bengal the Ceremonj^ of Marriage is according to the Direction of their spiritual Guides, perform'd in standing Water; in which the Priest and the Bridal Pair hold a Cow with her Calf by the Tail, and pour Water upon them ; then he ties the Cloaths of the Bride and Bridegroom together, and walking round the Cow and Calf, they are joined in the Bonds of holy

Loyalty is one thing and Slavery is another - but synonymous with those who know not Children from Servants : such Ignorance would disgrace even the noble Lyon and Unicorn.

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The alternate Chills and Thaws in this Month represent a long Courtship - as a Beehive does Matrimony, for its often empty & poor, sometimes rich in Wax, but insipid and tastless and sometimes full of Honey, but most frequently full of Stings.

Some are so polite as to drink nothing but Madeira abroad - that can hardly get Cyder at home. - Are other Countries as fond of our Luxuries ?

One may steal a Horse while another may not look over the Wall - that is, to get drunk with Toddy or raw Rum is a damnable Sin, while to get drunk with Punch & Wine is hardh' a venial one.

The Vulgar trace your Faults those you have in common with themselves, but have no Idea of your Excellencies to which they have no Pretentions.

Ever}^ instance of a Friend's insincerity increases our dependance on Money, which produces external Respecl; when we are disappointed of that which is internal and sincere.

Beauteous Nature, blooming Health Exceeds all Art, and Pride of Wealth. Then Ladies chuse the better part, Negle<?t the Head, and mend the Heart.

What some people term Freedom, is nothing else than a liberty of saying and doing disagreeable things, carrying the notion a little higher it would require us to break and have a head broke without offence.

Superstition regulates some of the illiterate better than Law, Conscience or Honor, then is not the notion of Astrology more useful than present Schools allow.

A mere formal visitor among Men of business is intolerable - but when Men of genius happen to meet, their souls strike fire, and furnish out a refined entertainment of new ideas - too thin a diet for any but themselves - and they would often be glad of one more solid.

Notes on 1771. - The title page has the usual amount of poetic wisdom, and is followed by a selection from a late Eminent writer, " on what is not done and on zvhat may be done ;" an eff"ort intended to incite the people to emulation, and a strenuous endeavor to gather the " Golden Fruits of a Non-importation Agreement."

The annual poem distributed as monthly captions to each page, is the Tale of Porsenna, King of Russia, and his adventure zvith the wife of Aeolus, the King of the Winds, and her family ; which poem is continued through the succeeding almanacks for 1772 and 1773, under the title of " Porsenna in pursuit of the Kijigdom of Felicity."

The weather column again is filled with patriotic squibs against British Catchpennies, Slavery, Ignorance, those who prefer Madeira to home-made Cyder, Superstition, etc., etc.

Abel Puffer's " Cure for Rattle-Snake bite " is omitted, as a superior panacea for this purpose was brought into general use after the settlement and developement of the resources of Kentucky.

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'This poem, supposed to have been written by Dr. Ames, (no mention being made of the authorship of the " monthly verses " this year) is continued thro' the Almanacks for several years as the monthly verses. For convenience of the reader it is printed continuously under this title without regard to its position in the original Almanacks.

And now the gath'ring clouds began to spread O'er the deep face of night a deeper shade ; And the hoarse thunder growling from afar, With herald voice pi-oclaini'd th' approach of war ;

And where said she does little Zephyr stray? Know ye, my sons, your brother's rout to day? Ne'er was he known to linger thus before. Scarce had she spoke, when at the Cavern door.

Come lightly tripping in a form more fair. Than the young lovers fond ideas are, Of burnish'd silver were his sandals made, Silver his busking and with gems o'erlaid ; His wings than lillies whiter to behold. Sprinkled with azure spots and streak'd with gold ; Around his temples with becoming air. In wanton ringlets curled his auburn hair ; Such his attire, but O ! no pen can trace, No words can show the beauties of his face.

Thou vagrant, cry'd the dame in angry tone. Where could'st thou loiter thus so long alone ? Little thou carest what anxious thoughts molest, What pangs are lab'ring in a mother's breast ; My dear mamma, the gentle youth reply'd. And made a low obeisance, cease to chide. Nor wound me with j'our words, for well you know Your Zephyr bears a part in all your woe.

Nor had I loiter'd thus had I been free, . But the fair princess of felicity, Intreated me to make some short delay. And ask'd by her, who cou'd refuse to stay ? Close by a mount with fragrant shrubs o'ergrown, On a cool mossy couch she laid her down ; Her air, her posture, all conspir'd to please ; Her head upon her snowy arm at ease, Reclin'd, a studied carelessness express'd ; Loose lay her robe, and naked heav'd her breast, Eager I flew to that delightful place, And pour'd a shower of kisses on her face : Now hover'd o'er her neck, her breast, her arms. Like bees o'er flow'rs, and tasted all her charms ; And then her lips and then her cheeks I tried. And fawn'd and wanton'd round on ev'ry side.

O Zephyr ! cry'd the fair, thou charming boy, Thy presence only can create me joy, Excuse my weakness, madam, when I swear, Such gentle words join'd with so soft an air, Pronounc'd so sweetly from a mouth so fair. Quite ravished all my sense, nor did I know How long I staid, or when or where to go.

Mean while her damsels debonnair and gay. Prattled around, and laugh'd the time away; These in soft notes address'd the ravish'd ear, And warbled out so sweet, 'twas heaven to hear; And those in rings beneath the greenwood shade, Danc'd to the melody their fellows made. Porsenna like a statue fix'd appear'd, And, wrapped in silent wonder, gaz'd and heard : Much he admir'd the speech, the speaker more And dwelt on every word, and griev'd to find it o'er O, gentle youth, he cry'd, proceed to tell In what fair country does this Princess dwell : To whom the winged god with gracious look. Numberless sweets diffusing while he spoke, Thus answered kind - These happy gardens lie Far hence remov'd, beneath a milder sky. Their name - the kingdom of felicity. Sweet scenes of endless bliss, enchanted ground, A soil forever sought but never found, Tho' in the search all human kind in vain Weary their wits, and waste their lives in pain. In different parties, diflf'rent paths they tread. As reason guides them, or as follies lead ; These wrangling for the place they ne'er shall see, Debating these, if such a place there be; But not the wisest, nor the best can say Where lies the point, or mark the certain way. Some few by fortune favour'd for her sport Have sail'd in sight of this delightful port ; In thought already seiz'd the blest abodes, And in their fond delirium rank'd with gods. Fruitless attempt! all avenues are kept By dreadful foes, sentry that never slept. Here fell detradlion darts her pois'nous breath Fraught with a thousand stings and scatters death ; But say, young monarch, for what name you bear Your mein, your dress, your person, all declare;

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And leaping from his couch thus kindly spoke, " Like you I long to reach the blissful coast, " Hate the slow night, and mourn the moments lost. " The bright Prosinda, loveliest of the fair " That crowd the princess' court, demands my care ; " What sweet rewards on all my toils attend, " Serv'ing at once my mistress and my friend,

"Just to my love and to my duty too, " Well paid in her, well pleas'd in pleasing you." This said, he led Porsenna to the gate, And clasp'd him in his arms and pois'd his weight ; Then ballancing his body here and there, Stretch'd forth his agile wings and launch'd in air : Swift as the fiery meteor from on high Shoots to its goal and gleams athwart the sky Here with quick fata his lab'ring pinions play ; There glide at ease along the liquid way. The friendly God, who instantly divin'd The terrors that possess'd his fellows mind To calm his troubl'd thoughts and chear the way, Discrib'd the nations that beneath them lay. The sweet discourse so charm'd Porsenna's ear That lost in joy he had no time for fear. From Scandinavia's cold inclement waste O'er wide Germania's various relms they past. And now on Albion's fields suspend their toil, And hover for a while, and bless the soil. Dwells chearful plenty there, and learned ease, And art with Nature seems at strife to please : Their Liberty, delightful Goddess, reigns, Gladdens each heart, and gilds the fertile plains, Streaching their course to climates then unknown, Nations that swelter in the burning zone. There in Peruvian vales a moment staid. And smooth'd his wings beneath the citron shade: Then swift his oary pinions ply'd again, Cross'd the new world and sought the southern main ; Where many a wet and weary league o'er past. The wish'd for paradise appear'd at last. With force abated now they gentl}- sweep O'er the smooth surface of the shining deep : The Dryads hail'd them from the distant shore, The Nereids play'd round, the Tritons swam before, Nor pale disease nor health consuming care, Nor wrath nor foul revenge, can enter there. What e'er the sweet Sabaean soil can boast, Or Mecca's plains, or India's spicy coast ; What Hybla's hills, or rich Oebalia's fields, Or flowing vale of fam'd Hymettus yields : Or what of old th' Hesperian orchard grac'd, All that was e'er delicious to the taste.

Sweet to the smell, or lovely to the view, Collected there with added beauty grew : And on each bough the feather'd choir employ Their melting notes, and naught is heard but joy : The painted flowers exhale a rich perfume, The fruits are mingled with eternal bloom. And spring and autumn hand in hand appear,

Then summoning his senses ran to meet The queen, and laid him humbly at her feet. " Deign lovely princess to behold," said he, " One who has travers'd all the world to see " Those charms, and worship thy divinity. " Accept thy slave, and with a gracious smile, " Excuse his rashness, and reward his toil." Stood motionless the fair, with mute surprize. And read him over with admiring eyes : And while she stedfast gaz'd, a pleasing smart Ran thrilling thro' her veins and reach'd her heart, Each limb she scan'd, consider'd ev'ry grace, And sagely judg'd him of the Phoenix race. An animal like this she ne'er had known. And thence concluded there could be but one. " O, handsome Phoenix, for that such you are " We know }-our beauty does your breed declare. " For Nature form'd you single and alone " Alas ! what pity 'tis there is but one ! " Were there a queen so fortunate to shew " An aviary of charming birds like you. " What envy would her happiness create " In all who saw the glories of her state ! " The prince laugh'd inwardly surpriz'd to find So strange a speech, so innocent a mind. The compliment indeed did some offence To reason, and a little wrong'd her sense. But she'd a piercing wit, of wond'rous reach To comprehend whatever he could teach. Thus hand in hand they to the palace walk Pleas'd and instru<5led with each other's talk. Here, should I tell the furniture's expence. And all the structure's vast magnificence. Describe the walls of shining sapphire made With emerald and pearl, the walls unlaid. And how the vaulted canopies unfold. A mimic heav'n and flames with gems of gold : Or how Felicity regales her guest. The wit, the mirth, the musick, and the feast, And on each part bestow the praises due, ' Twould tire the writer, and the reader too. Alas ! how vain is happiness below ! Man soon or late must have his share of woe : Slight are his joys and fleeting as the wind. His griefs wound home, and leave a sting behind.

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His lot distinguish'd from the brute appears Less certain by his laughter than his tears : For ignorance too oft our pleasure breeds, But sorrow from the reas'ning soul proceeds : If man on Earth in endless bliss could be, The boon, young prince, had been bestow'd on thee. Bright shone thy stars, thy Fortune flourished fair, And seem'd secure beyond the reach of care, And so might still have been, but anxious thought Has dash'd thy cup, and thoti must taste the draught. It so befel, as on a certain day This happy happy couple toy'd their time away, He asked how many charming hours were flown Since on her slave her heav'u of beautj- shone, " " Should I consult my heart," cried he, " the wait " Were small, a week would be the utmost date, " But when my mind reflects on actions past " And counts its joys, time must have fled more fast. " Perhaps I might have said three months are gone, " Three months ! " replied the fair, " three months alone ! " Know that three hundred years have rolled away " Since at my feet the lovely Phcenix lay." " Three hundred years," re-echoed back the prince, " A whole three hundred years compleated since " I landed here ! O ! whither then are flown " My dearest friends, my subjects and my throne ? " My crown perhaps may grace a foreign line " A race of kings that know not me nor mine. " Who reigns may wish my death, his subjects treat " My claim with scorn, and call their prince a cheat. " Oh, had my life been ended as begun ! " My destin'd stage, my race of glory run, " I should have died well pleas'd, my honor'd name " Had liv'd, had flourish'd in the list of fame, " Reflecting now my mind with horror sees " The sad survey, a scene of shameful ease." The fair beheld him with impatient eye, And red w4th anger made this warm reply, " Ungrateful Man ! is this the kind return " My love deserves ; and can you thus with scorn " Reject what once you priz'd, what once you swore " Surpass'd all charms and made e'en glory poor? " What gifts have I bestow'd, what favors shown ! " Made you partaker of my bed and throne ;

" Three centuries preserv'd in youthful prime, " Safe from the rage of death, and injuries of time." Weak arguments ! for glory reigns above, The feeble ties of gratitude and love. " I urge them not, nor would request your stay ; " The phantom glory calls, and I obey : " Go, tell the world your tender heart could give " Death to the princess, by whose care you live." At this a deadly pale her cheeks o'er spread. Cold trembling seized her limbs, her spirits fled, She sunk into his arms ; the Prince was mov'd, Felt all her griefs, for still he greatly lov'd ; He sigh'd, he wish'd he could forget his throne, Confine his thoughts, and live for her alone ; But glory shot him deep, the venom'd dart Was fixed within and rankled at his heart. An age no longer like a month appears. But ever}' month becomes an hundred years. Felicity was grieved and could not bear A scene so chang'd, a sight of so much care ; She told him with a look of cold disdain, And seeming ease as women well can feign ; He might depart at will ; a milder air Would mend his health ; he was no pris'ner there ; She kept him not, and wished him ne'er might find Cause to regret the place he left behind. If these prophetic words a while destroy His peace, the former ballanc'd it in joy. He thanked her for her kind concern, but chose To quit the place, the rest let heaven dispose ; For fate on mischief bent, perverts the will. And first infatuates whom it means to kill. Aurora now, not as she was wont to rise. In gay attire, ting'd with a thousand dies ; But sober sad in solemn state appears, Clad in a dusk}"^ veil bedewed with tears ; Some black event the threat'ning skies foretel, Porsenna rose to take his last farewell ; A curious vest the mournful Princess brought, And armour by the Lemnian artist wrought. A shining lance with the secret Virtue stor'd And of resistless force a magic Sword, Caparisons and gems of wond'rous price, And loaded him with gifts and good advice.

(Such was the Courser's name) "with speed shall bear' " And place 3'ou Safely in your native air "Assist against the foe with matchless might " Ravage the field, and turn the doubtful fight " But this I warn, beware ; what e'er shall lay " To intercept j^our course, or tempt your stay, " Quit not your saddle, nor your speed abate, " Till safel}' landed at your palace gate, " On this alone depends your weal or woe ; " Such is the will of Fate, and so the Gods foreshow. He mounts and sighing took a kind adieu. Then urg'd his steed, though fierce Grissippo flew With rapid force outstript the lagging wind And left the blissful shores, and weeping fair behind. Thus driving on at speed the prince had run Near half his course, when with the setting sun As through a lonely lane he chanc'd to ride With rocks and bushes fenc'd on either side. He spied a waggon full of wings that lay Broke and o'erturn'd across the narrow way. The helpless driver on the dirty road Lay struggling, crush'd 'neath th' incumbent load, Never in human shape was seen before A wight so pale, so feeble, and so poor. Comparisons of age would do him wrong For Nestor's self if plac'd by him were young : His limbs were naked all, and worn so thin. The bones seem'd starting ihro' the parchment skin. The conscious steed stopped short in deadly fright, And back recoiling stretch'd his wings for flight. WTien thus the wretch with supplicating tone, And rueful face began his piteous moan, " O gentle youth, if pity e'er inclin'd " Thy soul to generous deeds, if e'er thy mind " Was touch'd with soft distress, extend thy care " To save an old man's life, and ease the load I bear " So may propitious Heaven your journey speed, " Prolong your days, and all your vows succeed. Mov'd with the pray'r the kind Porsenna staid. Too nobly minded to refuse his aid. And prudence yielding to superior grief, Leap'd from his steed, and ran to his relief:

Remov'd the weight, and gave his pris'ner breath Just chok'd, and gasping on the verge of death. Then reach'd his hand, when lightly with a bound The grizly spectre vaulting from the ground Seiz'd him with sudden gripe, th' astonish'd prince Stood horror struck and thoughtless of defence. " O, King of Russia," with a thund'ring sound

Bellow'd the gastly fiend, " at length thou'rt found " " Receive the Ruler of Mankind, and know, " My name is Time thy ever dreaded foe " These feet are founder'd and the wings you see " Worn to the pinions in pursuit of thee, " Through all the world in vain for ages sought, " But fate has doom'd thee now, and thou art caught." Then round his neck his arms he nimbly cast And seiz'd him by the throat and grasp'd him fast, 'Till forc'd at length his soul forsook its seat. And the pale breathless corse fell bleeding at his feet : Now since that day (the wretched world must own This mournful Truth by sad experience known) No mortal since enjoy'd that happy clime, And ev'ry thing on earth submits to Time.

Containing, Befides -what is ufual ia Altnanioks, « DefcciptioQ of the Dwarf that lately made her Appearance in Boston ; as alfo a curious Method of taking Wax and Honey, without deftroying Bees.

The followi7ig short Description of the extraordinary Person who lately made her appearance in this tozvti, 7nay not be disagreeable to our Readers, although it may not be so particidar, as the curiotis would desire, as she would not admit of an accurate examination.

Miss Emma lycach was born in Beverly, about 20 Miles distant from this town, in the year 17 19. She was at her birth as well a shaped child as any of ten which the same mother bore. - Her friends early discovered her bones to be in a flexible state, and unable to resist the action of the muscles, which made it very diflScult to support her in any other than a horizontal position. After two years the bones acquired some considerable degree of firmness ; but they had been so long inflected by the action of the muscles, that they never recovered their proper figure or situation. She measured in a right line from the crown of the head to the feet, twenty-two inches. The head was as large as is usual for persons of a common stature, and not at all deformed. The vertebrae of the back were somewhat elevated. The sternum was almost in a line parallel with the chin, the ribs formed with the sternum a monstrous protuberance before : the thigh bones were prodigiously incurvated, forming from their juncftures more than a semicircle ; had they been straight, they might have equalled in length the bones of a child seven or eight years old. The bones of the legs also were crooked, but not so much as those of the thighs, and were so much flattened that the tibia was quite acute on the anterior part. Her feet were about the size of a child of five or six years old, and not at all deformed. She could never walk, but was either carried by her friends or moved herself about with the assistance of a small chair and stick. She enjoyed a tolerable share of health, free from most complaints excepting indigestion, in consequence of which she was sometimes troubled with hysteric and epileptic fits. In her conversation she discovers a vivacity which very much surprizes all who have the pleasure of being acquainted with her. She now enjoj^s herself very agreeably at her native place.

J5^° A more full and accurate Description of this little facetious person, with a physical dissertation thereon, together with an account of a number of remarkable small persons who have made their appearance in different parts of Europe, is published by EzEKiEL RusSELL, at his Printing Office in Marlborough Street. (Price 4d.)

Ai.Manack For 1772

^is nobly dofte to Stem Taxations Rage, Artd Vaifc rtte T»imj^\« of % iifgerierate Ag«, For Happlncfs and Joy, froor freedom fprtog ; Btit Life in' Bc/nd%^j3 H'^Vchlefs^Tluftg.

Dickinson (John), an American statesman and lawyer, born in Maryland in 1732. He was chosen a member of the Continental Congress in 1774, and wrote several important state papers issued by that body. In

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June, 1776, he opposed the Declaration of Independence, which he thought premature. Having declined to sign that declaration, he impaired his popularity, and lost his election to the next Congress. He afterwards served as a private soldier against the British. In 1779 ^^ was again elected to Congress from Delaware. He was President of Pennsylvania about three years, 1782-85. He was an able debater, and distinguished for his elegant manners and superior culture. Died in 1808. - \_Lippincott''s Biog. Dictionary.']

Macauley (Catharine,) an English authoress, whose maiden name was Sawbridge, was born in Kent, in 1733. She was married to Dr. George Macauley, of London, about 1760, and published a "History of England from the Accession of James I to the Elevation of the House of Hanover," (1763) which is favorable to republicanism. In 1785 she visited Washington at Mount Vernon. ' She wrote several political treatises. " Her history," says T. B. Macauley, " is more distinguished by zeal than either by candor or skill." - LippincoW s Biog, Dictionary.

The harmony and union which, in my Father's day subsisted among the Gentlemen of the Type, being now unhappily destroyed, renders it necessary for me to delay the publication of my Almanack 'till such a time as Almanacks are in greatest demand, that the original Purchaser of the copy may have the utmost advantage of a quick sale to save enough to pay for the copy in the few days start he has of the other Printers. The kind receptance which you are pleased to afford m^^ annual publications, cherishes in me an irresistable ardour to serve you, according to the best of my capacity, and for this end I earnestly entreat all persons that know of any errors or defects in the account of the Stages, or alterations in, or new establishment of Courts in either of the four New-England governments, and according to desire, the Courts in either of the provinces of New-York and Nova-Scotia, or governments of Cayiada, Nezvfoundland and St. Johns, to send me correct accounts thereof, and they maj' depend on the favors being most gratefully acknowledged, by their most humble Servant,

Nat. Ames

Old stile says 'tis Winter yet, which we may now believe, seeing the planets, like the great ones here below, can't agree whether we shall continue under the grievance of Winter or enjoy the season's birthright, blooming spring.

Spleen is often little else than an obstrudled Perspiration. There are not five in five thousand that pity, but at the same time despise, so be cautious where and to whom you complain.

It is a good way to gain esteem to wave some advantages you have a just claim to, as men of quality never appear more amiable than when their dress is plain.

Taste, elegance and refinement distinguish the poor gentleman from the rich Vulgar ; but are poor estate in the eyes of the world in general.

Self Interest will reconcile enemies, and some like their master below might say, " We have embraced and have cherished a mortal hatred toward each other ever since, and assumed the mask of friendship to wound the deeper."

See ! royal Honor full of fears. Now my brave countrymen prepare for dire approaching civil wars ! The proverb ought to run " a fool and his words are soon parted, a man of genius and his money."

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^Otes on 1772. - We note our approach to modern times and tastes in this year's production ; and the desire for the monstrous and extraordinary is pandered to by the author in his description of the Beverly dwarf, 3/iss Emnia Leach ; though he deprecatingly announces " it may not be so particular as the curious would desirfe, as she would not admit of an accurate examination." A frightful wood cut illustrates the description, and is quite the equal of any modern horror. The " unhappiness " among the printers calls forth an explanatory card from Doctor Ames, which recounts circumstances endorsing the extreme popularit)- of his annual publication. I\Ir. Jolui Dickinson, Barrister-at-Laru, " The Patriotic American Farmer" is basely slandered by an outrageous portrait in this issue, and Hhs. Catherine McCanlay, is similarly disposed of by some barbarous engraver; yet the almanack itself gives no reason for the sacrifice.

The "jester's cap and bells " are both profitably seen and heard through the pages of the prognostications. Trite allusions are made to Pity, the Golden Age, Self-interest, and the impending Civil War, with a dig at Parliament (under November) for pensioning the heroic (?) commander of the detachment of British troops who perpetrated the " Boston Massacre."

Almanack For 1 773 Boston, New- England

OUR great Forefathers, fir'd with virtuousRage, Did all the Perils of the Deep engage, To fly thofe Realms where proud tyrannic Sway, And horrid P Vcutior) fcout'for Prey ; Their" natiye Soil and youthful Scenes they fled, VVhere bounteous Nature all her .BlefTmgs fhed, And fifler Art had ranfack'd foreign Shores, Made every Dainty croud their Britifli Stores, Had rais'd the ample Dome and" lofty. SpirC; And fpacious Theatre, were Crouds ^dmire The mighty Feats perform'd in ancient Days, That fpring to Life, reviv'd in Englifh Plays. Thefe Pleafures ail, our. Fathers left behind, But bro't the Seeds of Science in their Min(J» Here planted firfV fair FretJom with Applaufe, Which gives the ReliOl to all other Joys : Guard then the Plant, - this favage Land adorn, This Work they left their Children thei unborn.

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Blessed is the man that has none but open enemies, and wo unto the young man that is without any - if any such there be since the Golden Age.

When a great Blackguard presumes upon his eminent Station to abuse a stripling that cannot meet him upon equal Terms, 'tis the wisest Course for the latter to leave the Chastisement of his insolence to the grand Executioner of the Universe.

As the Reformation is said to have begun in Harry the 8th^s breeches, so in our times some notable reformations begin there - rather than in the head or heart, and thereabouts is often the spring of noble deeds imputed to virtuous resolutions.

Some people not only kill as much time as they can, but are so plaguy good natur'd & friendly as to make their acquaintance commit murder upon it against their wills.

Some s * * s take advantage of that text of scripture "What goes into the body defiles not the body," to poison all their acquaintance. - Surely it was not spoken like a Physician.

There are two pernicious things in the government of a nation which are scarce ever remedied. The first is an unjust and too violeyit authority in Kings : the other is luxury, which viciates the morals of the people. When Kings acknowledge no law but their own will, and give a loose to their most exorbitant passions, they may do anything ; but by this very power they usurp of doing anything, they sap the foundation of their regal power; they go by no certain rules, and govern by no fixed maxims ; all try who shall flatter them most : they loose their people and have nothing left them but slaves, whose number diminishes every day. Who shall tell them the truth? Who shall set bounds to this torrent ? Every thing falls before it ; the wisest fly away, hide themselves, and groan in secret : nothing, but a sudden violent revolution, can bring back this exorbitant power into its natural channel ; nay some times the very means made use of to reduce it, irrecoverably destroy it. Nothing threatens so fatal a fall as an authority that is strained too high : it is like a bow that is bent, which at last breaks on a sudden if the string be not slacken'd : But who is he that will dare to slacken it ? A King thus corrupted can scarce expedl to be reformed without a kind of miracle. And as too great authority intoxicates and poisons Kings, so luxury poisons a whole nation. It is commonly urged " that luxury serves to feed the poor at the expense of the rich ;" as if the poor could not more profitably provide for themselves by increasing the fruits of the earth, than by unmaning the rich b}' the refinements of voluptuousness. Thus a whole nation habituates itself to look upon the most superfluous things, as the necessaries of life ; and thus ever}- day brings forth some new necessit}- of the same kind, and men can no longer live without things which but thirty years ago were utterly unknown to them. This luxury is called y^w^ taste, the perfection of arts, and the poliiefiess of a nation. Thus vice, which carries in its womb an infinite number of others, is commended as a virtue ; it spreads its contagion from the King down to the very dregs of the people ; those of the royal blood are willing to imitate the King's magnificence ; the men of quality imitate the King's relations ; and the middle sort strive to equal those of quality ; for who would condemn himself when in the wrong ? The lowest rank of men would pass for a middle sort; and every one lives above his condition, some for ostentation, and to make a shew of their wealth ; others through a mistaken shame, to cloak their poverty. Even those who are so wise as to condemn so great a disorder, are not so wise as to dare to be the first to stem the tide, or to set contrary examples. Thus a whole nation falls to ruin ; all conditions and ranks of men are confounded ; an eager desire to support a vain expense corrupts the purest minds ; and when poverty is accounted infamous, nothing is minded but how to get rich. Let a man be learned, skilful, and virtuous ; let him instruct mankind, win battles, save his country, and sacrifice everything to the good of the public; yet he will be despised, unless his talents be heightened by pomp and luxur}^ Even those who have no fortune will appear and spend as if they had : and so they fall to borrowing, cheating, and using a thousand mean arts to get money. But who shall remedy these evils? The relish and customs of a whole nation must be changed ; new laws must be given them. And who shall attempt this, unless the King should prove to be so much of a Philosopher as to set an example of moderation himself, and so to put out of countenance all those who love a pompous expense ; and at the same time encourage the wise, who would be glad to be authorized in a virtuous frugality ?

^Otes on 1773. - On the title page this year is represented a Jewish shekel by way of illustration, and the verse is a brief poetical epitome of the reasons why our forefathers left England for the shores of Massachusetts ; with some wholesome advice as to the duty of their descendants.

The practical treatise this year is on Grape and Wine culture, - giving the results of experimental growing at Dedham and in the vicinity, and recommending this pursuit to the husbandman and fruit grower, (It is omitted from this re-print as of no particular interest.)

A political address on " Ruin and Reform,'^ and addressed to the King indirectly, might have been profitably heeded by the Prince had he "taken in " Antes' Almanack ; but after events lead us to surmise that he was not so fortunately provided.

The miscellany on either page of the astronomical part of the book is replete with wisdom and wit, mingled with odd weather predictions, and parallels drawn between " Liberty and Madeira."

Airman Ack For 1 774 The Ai.Manack For 1774

With "Wonder we survey the upper Air, And the gay gilded Meteors sporting there, And lambent Jellies kindling in the Night, Shoot through the Aether in a Trail of Light. How rising streams in th' Azure Fluid blend, Or fleet in Clouds, or in soft Show'rs descend : Or if the stubborn rage of Cold prevail, In Flakes they fly, or fall in moulded Hail. How Honey-dews imbalm the fragrant Morn, And the fair Oak with luscious Sweets adorn. How Heat and Mixture^ mingle in a Mass, Or belch in Thunder, or in Lightning blaze, Why nimble Corruscations strike the Eye, Or bold Tornadoes bluster in the Sky.

Altho' Tyranny and Oppression may excite in us some noble efforts to rival Britain, at least so far as to supply our necessities, in manufacturing. Yet notwithstanding our rapid increase, doubling our number of inhabitants in about eighteen years, besides the shoals of people that flock hither from all parts of Europe, so long as this wide extended continent affords such an ample field for agriculture, and other rich resources that will turn to infinitely greater profit than manufacturing, and which will, instead of discouragement, meet with the protection of our mother Country, as soon as we have brought her to her former senses, it is very unlikely that we shall be so blind to our interest as to take that work out of the hands of Britains and Hybernians which they will do so much cheaper and better than we can get ourselves, Turn we therefore our thoughts on Agriculture. 1 *******

No Preacher but Time is listened to which gives us the same Train and turn of Thought that elder People have tried in vain to put into our Heads before.

I have known some little Wits aim their pointless Satire against the whole Tribe of Almanack makers because Sivift facetiously killed poor Partridge with Ink, and buried him alive.

The latter part of a wise Man's life is taken up in curing the Follies, Prejudices and false Opinions he had contracted in the former. Sudden Acquaintance brings Repentance. Showerj' and unsettled Weather without as Mrs. Coquetilla is within.

Herodotus tells us that " in Cold Countries Beasts have very seldom Horns, but in Hot, they have very large ones." This might bear a very pleasant Application !

The reason why so few Marriages are happy is because the young Ladies spend so much of their Time in making Nets, not in making Cages. Censure is the Tax a man pays to the Public for being eminent. No wise Man ever wished to be younger.

I have known some Men stab a Character under a Cloak of friendship thus : " My friend the attorney is very clever, but always unfortunate for his clients, &c.

^ " Sits the wind in that corner? " There is something in the wind. " How now lad ! is the wind in that door, i' faith ? " 111 blows the wind.

Venus, a beautiful good natur'd Lady, was the Goddess of Love ; Juno, a terrible Shrew, the Goddess of Marriage, and they were always Mortal Enemies.

Religion is a cloak, honesty a pair of shoes worn out in the dirt, vanity a shirt, and cotiscience a pair of breeches, which, tho' a cover for lewdness and nastiness, is easily slipt down for the service of either.

As it is unpardonable for a Navigator to be without his charts, so it is for a Senator to be without his, which is Lock's " Essay on Government."

Dec. 16. East India Tea destroy' d in Boston 1773. The honest Farmer now at Ease Regales himself with Cyder, Bread and Cheese And further to himself amuse He smokes his Pipe & reads the News.

God had blessed with Affluence, to live constantly at their Mansion-Houses in the Country, and that once a Week or oftener, the Lady of the Manor distributed to her poor Neighbours, with her 0W71 Hands, a certain Quantity of Bread, and she was called by them the Leff-Day,^ i. e. in Saxon, the Bread Giver. These two Words in Time were corrupted and the Meaning is now as little known as the Practice which gave rise to it ; yet it is from that hospitable Custom that, to this Day, the English lyadies, and they only, serve the Meat at their own Tables.

In the Days of good Queen Bess (we find it upon Record) the Maids of Honour not only used manly Exercise, but eat Roast beef and drank Ale for Breakfast, and as in their masculine Exercises they were liable to Accidents and the Tooth-ach, so it was natural for them occasionally to warm their Beer, which they who required such Indulgence generally did by ordering their cupfuls to be placed on the Hob* of the Grate : and when any of the Company called for Beer, it was just as natural for their Attendants to ask "\ifrot?i the Hob, or 7iot from the Hob?" which constant Practice (from the constant Indisposition of one or the other of these fair Ladies) was soon not only remarked by the Courtiers, but also perhaps, first humorously adopted by them, with the Courtly Vice of Corrupting Hob or no Hob into Hob or Nob.

RusTicus has given a Receipt to destroy Rats in Farm Houses &c. which will prevent the fatal consequences accruing from the Method often used of mixing Rats bane : It is as follows, viz.

Take of the Seeds of Stavesacre (Larkswort) or Lousewort, powdered more or less as the Occasion requires, one Part, of Oatmeal, three Parts : mix them well, and make them up into a Paste with Honey. Laj^ Pieces of it in the Holes, and on the Places where Rats and Mice frequent, and it will efiectually kill or rid the Place of those kind of Vermin by their eating thereof.

Bootes on 1774. - The salutatory' verse on the title page realizes the truth of the old-saying, " like father, like S07i;" the sentiment and the description being an absolute reflex of the mind of the present author's father.

The practical address to the farmer opens with an allusion which cites the condition of things politically, and the rapid increase of population which the many advantages of the new world has encouraged.

The author in this essay again repeats his former adulation of agriculture, and the larger and more certain profit which will inure to the husbandman, than to those who embark in manufacturing.

A quaint " Inscription over a Chinuiey-Piece iti a Gentleman'' s Dining Room" is quoted ; and an ingenious research has given us in this number " the Definitioji of the Title of Ladies,'' and another extract from the Author's dictionary, tells us of the origin of ^^Hob or Nob ;" while a practical subject is again manifested in the closing item of the year's miscellany, viz : " a receipt to destroy Rats."

The weather cohnnn is found to be unusually attractive; wisdom, and sturdy plain language, abounds on every page, Secrets and Spouses, - Pedigree and Preachers, - Astrology and Almanack Makers, - Pride and Prejudice, - Folly and Flatulence, - Herodotus and Horns, - Fortune and Foundation ; with many merry allusions and drolleries all mixed together in a pleasant pot pourri, both interesting and entertaining as usual.

The Almanack For 1775

With whatever just indignation we maj' receive the feeble efforts of the super animated juntocrac}^ against our Capital &c., when the real Omnipotent displays his wrath, with deep contrition of soul should we kiss the rod, and by a sincere reformation obtain his mercy. Whether the fleet and army now stationed there may come under the former predicament, or the foul diseases that accompany them under the latter, shall be left to the discussion of more able casuists : but as one kind of pox with which they are visited, is in the natural way justly alarming to the most virtuous, as well as others that have never had it : a short history of the fam'd Innoculation may not be unseasonable. The Circassian women have, from time immemorial communicated the small-pox to their children, when not above six months old by making an incision in the arm : and by putting into the incision a pustle taken from the body of another child, this pustle produces the same effect in the arm it is laid in as yest in a piece of dough : It ferments and diffuses thro' the whole mass of blood the qualities it is impregnated with. The pustles of the child in whom the artificial 'small-pox has been thus inoculated are employed to communicate the same distemper to others. There is an almost perpetual circulation of it in Circassia : and when unhappil)^ the small-pox has quite left the country, the inhabitants of it are in as great trouble and perplexity, as other nations when their harvest has fallen short. The circumstance that introduced a custom in Circassia which appears so singular to others, is nevertheless a cause common to all nations. - I mean maternal tenderness and interest.

The Circassiaiis are poor and their daughters are beautiful : and indeed 'tis in them they chiefly trade. They furnish with beauties the seraglios of the Turkish Sultan, of the Persian Sophy and of all those who are wealthy enough to purchase and maintain so precious merchandize. There maidens are very honorably and virtuously instructed to fondle and caress men : are taught dances of a very polite and effeminate kind : and how to heighten by the most voluptuous artifices the pleasures of their disdainful masters for whom they are design'd. These unhappy Creatures repeat their lesson to their mothers in the same manner as little girls among us repeat their Catechism, without understanding one word they say.

Now it often happened that after a father and mother, had taken the utmost care of the education of their children, they were frustrated of all their hopes in an instant. The small pox getting into the family, one daughter dy'd of it, another lost an eye, a third had a great nose at her recovery, and the unhappy parents were compleatly ruined. Even frequently when the small-pox became Epidemical trade was suspended for several years, which thin'd ver}- considerably the seraglios of Persia and Turkey-

A trading nation is always watchful over its own interests, and grasps at every discovery that may be of advantage to its commerce. The Circassiaiis observ'd that scarce one person in a thousand was attack'd by a small-pox of a violent kind. That some indeed had this distemper three or four times, but never twice so as to prove fatal : in a word that no one ever had it twice in a violent degree in his life. They observ'd further, that when the small-pox is of the milder sort, and the pustules have only a tender delicate skin to break thro' they never leave the least scar in the face. From these natural observations they concluded, that in case an infant of six months or a year old should have a milder sort of small-pox, he would not die of it, would not be mark'd, nor be ever afflicted with it again. In order therefore to preserve the life and beaut}^ of their children the only thing remaining was, to give them the small-pox in their infant years. This the}' did by innoculating, in the body of a child, a pustule taken from the most regular and at the same time the most favourable sort of small pox that could be procur'd. The Experiment could not possibly fail. The Turks who are people of good sense soon adopted this custom, in so much that at this time there is not a Bassa in Constantinople but communicates the small-pox to his children of both sexes, immediately upon their being wean'd. Some pretend that the Circassians borrowed the custom from the Arabians : but we shall leave the clearing up of this point to some learned recluse who will not fail to compile a great many folios on this subject, with the several proofs or authorities. All I have to say upon it, is, that in the beginning of the reign of King George the first, the Lady VVortley Mo7itagu, a woman of as fine a genius and endu'd with as great a strength of mind as an}^ of her sex in the British dominions, being with her husband who was ambassador at the Porte, made no scruple to communicate the smallpox to an infant, of which she was delivered in Constantiiiople. The chaplain represented to his lady, but to no purpose, that this was an unchristian operation, and therefore that it would succeed with none but infidels. However it had the most happy effect upon the son of the lady Wortley Montagu, who at her return to England, communicated the experiments to the Princess of Wales.

It must be confessed that this princess, abstracted from her crown and titles was born to encourage the whole circle of arts, and to do good to mankind. The moment this princess heard of innoculation she caused an experiment to be made of it on four criminals sentenc'd to die, and by that means preserv'd their lives doubly, for she not only saved them from the gallows, but by means of this artificial small-pox prevented their ever having that distemper the natural waj- with which they would very probably have been attack'd one time or other, and might have died of in a more advanced age. The princess being assured of the usefulness of the operation, caus'd her own children to be innoculated. A great part of the kingdom followed her example, and since that time thousands of children have owed their lives in this manner to her majesty, for she has since been queen of England, and to the lady Wortley Montagu : and as many of the fair sex are obliged to them for their beauty.

Upon a general calculation made in Europe, three score persons in every hundred have the small-pox. Of these three score, twenty die of it, in the most favourable season of life, and as many more wear the disagreeable remains of it in their faces so long as they live. Thus a fifth part of mankind either die or are disfigured by this distemper. But it does not prove fatal to so much as one, who are inoculated in Turkey, England or here, unless the patient be infirm, or would have died if the experiment had not been made upon him. Besides, no one is disfigured no one has the small-pox a second time if the inoculation was perfect.

It is said the Chinese have practis'd inoculation these hundred years, a circumstance that urges very much in its favor, since they are thought to be the wisest and best govern'd people in the world. The Chinese indeed don't communicate this distemper by inoculation, but at the nose in the same m.anner as we take snuflF. This is a more agreeable way, but then it produces the like efiects, and proves that inoculation saves the lives of thousands.

Who wins the palm in wrestling or the race ; Though nature gave him Tithon's form divine, And Asia pour'd him wealth from ev'ry mine, Though fortune every other virtue gave. And yet deny the greatest to the brave.

February. And brave alone is he who can sustain The wild confusion of the bloody plain. Can death and wounds behold with dire delight, And shady legions moving to the fight For he alone a lasting name can raise, And crown his early years with martial praise. Who in the front of battle stands unmov'd The bulwark of the country which he lov'd.

All men and states, however Divine they may appear, are often so unguarded as to manifest their humanity - if not their deviltry, as we have some late Instances, one is the King of Prussia, but none nearer Home.

March. And loving, prodigal of life, to die, Avoids no evil more than basely fly, His great example shall the host inspire. And thousands follow actions they admire. He turns the phalanx of the foe to flight. And rules with martial art, the tide of fight.

Fine weather for New England about the barracks, but stormy, tempestuous, and bosterious when those Irish hero's are much in it, or it in them.

He leaves behind a great and lasting name. His Sire, his country- shall with joy surround His corse, and read their glory in his wound. Both young and old shall sing his dirge of wo. And his long funeral all the town pursue : His tomb shall be rever'd ; his children shine Through ev'ry age, along extended line.

Almanack For 1 775

But for his children and his country dies Ne'er shall his glory fade, or cease his fame Tho' laid in dust, immortal is his name. But if the sable hand of death he shun, Returning victor with his glory won.

As it is rare since the Days of a certain Roman Emperor, for hornsmiths to have the sanction of the Senate, some of our Daughters of Liberty miust inform who are the best workmen.

And full of honor sink among the dead. Or with his growing years his fame will grow, And all shall reverence his head of snow : The higher place from every youth he bears. And age shall quit him all the claim of years. Who then desires to rise to such a height, Desires in vain, if he forgets the fight.

Cato stabbed himself and Widows on the coast of Malabar burn themselves because it is the fashion - and here we drink Tea, and wear British Finery because it is the fashion - like the bulls and heifers of old adorn'd with ribbons and gilded horns before their destruction.

Whose wide domains your latest sons shall sow : Ye knew the horrid work of arms before, The dismal shock of battle oft ye bore, To scout and skulk to gain the scalp you've run. In each reverse to vou is fortune known.

Most people can preach for their neighbors when the spirit moves. It is often pride and curiosity that involves us in difiiculties. Nature is limited but fancy is boundless.

August. Stand forth the Champions of your Country's cause, Nor fear the traitors aided by their laws, Exalt the shady buckler to the war. Aided by heav'u, no human prowess fear. For those who, in the front of battle, dare Fight hand to hand, and bear the brunt of war,

The fate they shun still haunts the cow'rdly kind. What miud can well conceive, or tongue relate, The ills unnam'd that on the truant wait? To shun his fate when from the field he flies, Pierc'd from behind th' inglorious coward dies, When prone he lies, and gasping on the ground. What shame to see behind the gaping Wound!

South winds then some quickening showers somewhere at least of Xantippe's kind, then serene air sometime except among those that charg'd too deep for the King's health, and too many sentimental toasts.

Strain his large limbs, and low'ring eye the foe. To mighty deeds let each his arms extend. Nor dread the balls that breast-high muskets send Our practis'd huntsmen, sure of flying game, Ne'er fight in phalanx when the3^'ve surer aim.

November. No dazzling arms our steady marksmen hold. No heavy panoply, or casque of gold But sure as death, the trusty piece he bears. And fears no wild, or powder'd son of Mars. Make ready then - and fierce begin the fray ! But pause awhile - and hear what sages say. Deep read in history, who know mankind, The arts and stratagems sly courtiers find.

Lycurgus, by one of his laws, had prohibited to light those who came in the night from a feast, that the fear of not being able to get home might hinder their getting drunk.

Almanack For 1775

How one grand centre must the whole survey, By posts and couriers its resolves convey How civil wisdom must the arms controul, To act in concert like one mighty soul.

The Queen Henrietta of England being in a vessel in a furious storm, comforted her companions by telling them that queens were never drowned.

Ames' Fareweli

With much regret, we in this instance, (as in every other of human affairs,) must note the final end, and bid farewell to our author, under whose family name two generations have been amused and instructed for a period of fifty years.

The situation of affairs, and the minds of the colonists generally is exemplified in the title verse through whose lines Bellona armored stalks with sanguinary footsteps.

The poetical contributions at the top of each month incite to deeds of bravery, to patriotism, to victory, liberty or glorious death upon the tented field. The grandeur of the combat, the pomp and circumstance of " grimvisaged war " is depicted, and the dut)- of every citizen to arm for the encounter is vividly portrayed. Patriotism and America for Americans beams from every syllable in this year's production, and every line can be read and re-read with unflagging interest. Even the final essay though introduced with the usual " fly" at the " home government," will be found to be a very instructive account of the origin and practice of ''Inoculation for the Sm.all-pox" the precaution in this disease antecedent to the discovery and application of vaccination by Dr.Jenner.

The interlined Wisdom and Humour is more than ordinarily jovial and pointed, and his final almanack may almost be said to exceed in every quality, any of his preceding productions.

Note. - As has been said, this was the last of the Almanacks prepared by Dr. Ames. Subsequently several spurious issues appeared bearing his name, but these soon expired, and other Philomaths entered the field to occupy public attention for a while, retiring in a few years to absolute obscurity.

The "Ames " were the last of the great Almanack makers, and with the opening of the Revolution the " art " decayed, and was buried with iti> fathers.

Valedictory

^npHERE ! Laiis Deo, this book is completed - at least the foregoing "copy" is with the printer, there to await a resurrection at his hands.

The contents of the original almanacks have been carefully compiled from such copies as I possess (all but 1726-7-30-33), and the rest of the copy has been made from the complete set formerly owned by the Doctors Ames, now in the archives of the Dedham Historical Society. Nothing has been omitted that would either interest, instruct or amuse.

There may possibly be some repetitions - tautological, if you please - of the same thoughts or relation in various places. Should they prove interesting, it will pay, perhaps, to read them a second time ; should the opposite qualitj' exist, there will be no harm done if you pass them hy.

Again there may be an existing notion that I should have elaborated still more upon the author's production. In reply I would object that it would not be possible for me to take my readers by the hand, walk through this " Island of Tranquil Delights" and point out «//the bright spots - for much reading must be done between the lines ; that familiarity with the work may cause new ideas to be formed, and fresh sources of enjoyment to appear and be appreciated.

Again, an attempt to improve, or enlighten any of the author's bright sayings, would be as superfluous as to " paint the lily, or gild the fine gold."

That some may be disappointed, - perhaps horrified - when this book is received, goes without saying; but nothing of a terrestrial nature can add to, or take awaj- one iota of the pleasure I have had with the Doctors Ames, in collating, reading, quoting and compiling this collection of their humble works.

In some instances I may have exhibited a flippant manner, or treated a serious subject with what might be called levity. Consider, therefore, the age in which our authors lived ; reflect upon the fact that for many moons I have lived and breathed in an atmosphere redolent with the language, manners and customs of the time in which these and other similar productions were brought forth. Then for these reasons, of thy charity pray be kind, and " in thy orisons be all my sins remembered."

Appendix

Entertainment for A Winter's Evening: being A Full and True Account Of a very straiige and wotiderful sight seen in Boston on the twentyseventh of December at Noon-Day.

To The Reader

I Thought it necessarj' to acquaint thee with three things, which thou wilt perhaps, be inquisitive about. First, Why thou hast not had the following Entertainment sooner. Secondly, Why it now appears

^Joseph Greex, born in Boston 1706, graduated at Har\-ard 1726, became a merchant, had some interest in politics, espoused the Royal cause, was exiled, and died in England in 1780. He had great reputation for wit, particularly in the form of satirical verse. His favorite view of things was the facetious one; he was convivial and hilarious ; he loved to mitigate by his waggeries the somber tints of life at the Puritan metropolis ; and neither religion nor death, it was believed, could awe him into gravity, as is partly intimated in this epitaph, which one of his friends wrote for his tomb-stone, long before he had need of one :

" Si's/e, Viator! here lies one, Whose life was whim, whose soul was pun ; And if you go too near his hearse. He'll joke you, both in prose and verse," Tyler. Hist. Am. Lit. II. 48-49.

abroad without sheltering itself under the Name of some powerful Patron. And Thirdly, Why I have given Myself the Title I have assumed in the Front of it.

As to the first Article, thou must know, that my great distance from the Press, near one hundred miles, at this difficult season of the year, made it impossible for me to convey it there sooner. As to the second, I had fully determined to select a number of sutable Patrons, but was prevented by finding all of them engaged already ; not so much as one being left, under whose wings this poor sheet might retire for protection. Thirdly, The title I have taken to myself, sounds I confess, something odly. Nor indeed should I have ventured upon it, had I not been warranted by a Famous Society in an Example which they have lately set me. For though this Society is, perhaps, the only one in the world that ever gave itself those pompous Epithets, 3-et it is allowed to be the standard of Antiquity and Honour. Of Antiquity, - as it can boast an ^ra many years higher than that of the world. Of Honour,- -as it invested with that distinguishing Badge, which is, at this day, the glory of the greatest Potentates on earth. And if so, I see no reason why Thou and I should not submit to it, as the Standard of Propriety too. I am. Loving Reader, With the greatest Humility thine.

Entertainment For A Winter'S Evening

At length, in scarlet apron drest, Forth rush'd the morning of the feast ; And now the bells in steeple play. Hark, ding; dong, bell they chime away ; Until, will solemn toll and steady. The great bell tells - the parson's ready.

Masons at church ! strange auditory ! And yet we have as strange in story. For saints, as history attests, Have preach'd to fishes, birds and beasts. Yea stones so hard, tho' strange, 'tis true, Have sometimes been their hearers too,*

So good Saint Francis, man of grace, Himself preach'd to the brayhig race ; And further, as the story passes, Address'd them thus - my brother asses J Just so old British Wereburga, As ecclesiastic writers say,'' Harangued the geese, both far and wide ; Just so the geese were edify'd.

The crowds attending gaze around. And awful silence reigns profound. Till from the seat which he'd sat a * * * on Uprose and thus began the parson.

Those who with razor bright and keen, And careful hand, each morn are seen Devoting to Saint Nicolas' The manly honours of the face. Him too who works, ah ! cruel deed ! The fatal, tough Moscovian weed ! And twists the suffocating string In which devoted wretches swing, (And O may gracious Heaven defend The brethren from dishonest end,) Whose cauldrons smoke with juice of Pine, An offering to St. Catharine.^

O Pine salubrious ! from thy veins Distills the cure of human pains. Hail Sacred Tree ! ^ to thee I owe This freedom from a world of woe. My heart tho' grateful, weak my strain, To show thy worth I strive in vain. Could Thracian Orpheus but impart His tuneful lyre and matchless art; And would propitious fates decree Old Nestor's length of days to me. That lyre, that art, that length of days I'd spend in singing forth thy praise. Still thou shall never want my blessing; - - But to return from thus digressing.

Rhode-Island's differing, motly tribes. Far more than Alec. Ross describes, And light that's netv and light that's old. We in our friendly arms enfold. Free, generous and unconfin'd To outward shape or inward mind. The high and low and great and small,

'The Pine was sacred to the Goddess Cybele, who was very skillful in Physick, and presen,'ed men's lives. She no doubt drew her remedies from this salutiferous Tree, and perhaps was not unacquainted with the virtues of Tar Water. Hence this tree was held sacred to her by the Ancients.

One shrewdly whisp'ring inniy ear; " Pray, parsou, don't affirm but prove ; " Do they all meet and part in love? " Quarrels oft times don't they delight in, " And now and then a little fighting ? " Did there net (for the Secret's out) " In the last Lodge arise a rout?

From church to Stone's they go to eat; In order walking through the street, But no Right Worshipful^ was there, Pallas forbad him to appear. For, well foreseeing that the jobb Would from all parts collect the mob,

» Thomas Oxnard, merchant, Boston, one of the directors of the " Silver Scheme " to oflfset the " Land Bank" experiment, 1742. Appointed Provincial Grand Master vice Rt. Wor. Tonilinson, deceased, Sept. 23, 1743, and held oflRce until his death, June 26, 1754.

This, when the generous juice recruits, Around a brighter radiance shoots. So, on some promontory's height, For Neptune's son's the signal light Shines fair, and fed by unctuous stream, Sends off to sea a livelier beam.

'Twas he who oft dispell'd their Sadness, And fiU'd the brethren's hearts with gladness. For them his ample bowls o'erflow'd, His table groan'd beneath its load ; For them he stretch'd his utmost art ; Their honours grateful they impart,

' Doctor Aston. Apothecary, Boston, circa 1738, died Aug. 9, 1766, aged 74 years. -Luke Vardy kept " Royal Exchange," King St., Boston, Oct. 17, 1733. * Francis Johannot, son of Daniel, born Nov. 30, 1709, was a distiller and a prominent member of the " Sons of Liberty," died Mar. 8, 1775.

Just such a street-collected throng Guarded the brotherhood aloug ; Just such the noise, just such the roar Heard from behind and from before. 'Till lodg'd at Stone's,' nor more pursu'd. The mob with three huzzas conclude.

But now suppress thy further rhyme. And tell the rest another time. Once more, perhaps, the apron'' d train Hereafter may invite thy strain. Then Clio, with descendent wing. Shall downward fly again and sing.

^Journal of Capt. Francis Goelel N. E. Hist. Gen. Regr. Vol. xxiv p. 53. Oct, 5, 1750. " Had an Invitation from Several Brothers to vissett the Master's Lodge, which is kept at Stones, (Tavern,? - Ed.) in a very Grand Manner. Mr. Oxuard who is Provincial Grand Master, Presided in the Chair, went from thence at 9 to Sup with Mr. Chue, (Pue ? - Ed.) who had a Company Gentn to Spend the Evening with him, we had a Very Grand Supper where Very merry and broke up about 3 in the Morning.

Brockwell Presided in the Chair, and Mr. William Coffin Mercht in Boston his Deputy, from thence to Capt Wendells where was a large Compy Gentn drinking toast and Singing Songs, the compy broke up at abt 3 in the Morning.

October 24th. * * in the Evening went to the Lodge with Nathl Ferriter, Capt Colvill or Lord Colvil Capt of the Stationed Man of War, when Mr. Wm. Coffin Presided in the Chair, from thence went to Spend the Evening with Mr. Thos Bulfinch agreeabe to promise where found a large compy gentn we Supd in a verry grand manner and where exceeding Merry drinking toast and Sing'g songs almost to 3 in the Morning broke up.

A Mournful Lamentation For The Death Of

The merchants too, those topping folks, To him owe all their riches ; Their rufiles, lace, and scarlet cloaks, And eke their velvet breeches.

In senate he, like Caesar, fell, Pierced through with many a wound. He sunk, ah, doleful tale to tell ! The members sitting round : And ever since that fatal day, Oh ! had it never been. Closely confined at home he lay, And scarce was ever seen.

And so God bless our noble state, And save us all from harm. And grant us food enough to eat, And clothes to keep us warm. Send us a lasting peace, and keep The times from growing worse ; And let us all in safety sleep, With silver in our purse.

Great God ! Thy works our wonder raise, To Thee our swelling notes belong ; While skies, and winds, and rocks, and seas Around shall echo to our song.

Round Thee the scaly nation roves, Thy opening hand their joys bestow ; Through all the blushing coral grove. These silent gay retreats below.

See the broad sun forsakes the skies. Glow on the waves, and downward slide ; Anon ! heaven opens all its eyes. And star beams tremble in the tide.

Each various scene, or day, or night. Lord, points to thee our ravish'd soul ; Thy glories fix our whole delight, So the touch'd needle courts the pole."

'Mather Bvles, a Boston divine, born 1706, became a Royalist, and died in 178 Was a clergfyman noted for his wit, and was prominent during his time for his readiness of repartee, and general jocularity.

The task performed, the Bard content, Well chosen was each flowing word, On a short voyage himself he went. To hear it read, and sung on board.

Our modern parson having prayed, Unless loud fame our faith beguiles. Sat down, took out his book, and said, " Let's sing a song of Mather Byles."

' Alluding to his remarkable fondness for a cat, which was jocosely called his Muse, and on the death of which Greene wrote an Eleg:>'. - See Burton's Cyclop. Wit and Humour, Vol. i, p. 4.

Parody By Mather Byles

Long paus'd the lout, and scratch'd his skull, Then took his chalk (he own'd no pen,) And scrawl'd some doggrel, for the whole Of his flip-drinking brethren.

The task perform'd - not to content - - 111 chosen was each Grub-street word ; Strait to the tavern club he went. To hear it bellow'd round the board.

Unknown delights his ears explore, Inur'd to midnight caterwauls, To hear his hoarse companions roar, The horrid thing his dulness scrawls. The club, if fame we may rely on, Conven'd, to hear the drunken catch. At the three-horse-shoes, or red lion - Tipling began the night's debauch.

Soon as with stam'ring tongue, to read The drunken ballad, he began, The club from clamr'ring strait recede. To hear him roar the thing alone.

Song

'This, says an original note appended to the poem, alluded to what passed at a convivial club to which Mr. Green belonged, where steaks cut from the rump of a dead negro were imposed on the company for beef, and when the imposition was discovered a violent expectoration ensued.

Several persons not living in Kentucky, and subject to " snakes," have asked that the following (omitted from the almanack for 1771) be inserted here :

As soon as may be after the Person is bit, cut a Gash or Split in the Place where the Bite is, as deep as the Teeth went in and fill it full of fine Salt ; take common Plaintain^ and pound it, add a little Water to it, then squeeze out the Juice, and mix it with clear Water, then make a strong Brine with fine Salt and the Juice 'till it will not dissolve the Salt, then make a Swath or Bandage with Linen Cloth, and bind it round just above the swelling (but not too tight,) then wet the Bandage with the before mentioned Brine, and keep it constantly wet with the Brine, for it will dry very fast, & keep strokeing the Part with your Hands as hard as the Patient can bear, towards the Cut you made, and you will soon see the Poison and virulent Matter flow out of the Cut, and it will often flow so fast that it will swell below the Cut, and if it should, you must cut below the swelling to let out the virulent Matter, and it will not leave running 'till all is discharged ; you must keep the Bandage moving downwards as the Swelling abates. It is proper to give the Patient something to defend the Stomack, as sweet Oil, Safron or Snake Root : It very often bleeds after the Poison is out, but be not surprized at that, it is Good for it ; it will run some time after the Poison is out ; there must be care taken that none of the Poison that runs out gets to any Sore or Raw Flesh, for it will Poison the Person.

I expedt that some will slight this Publication, for the Remedies being so simple a Thing, but I hope no one will so slight it, if he is bit, as to neglect trying the Experiment, and the Effect will prove what 1 have said to be true : I should not have published this, had I not been certain of its performing the Cure by my own Experience ; lor I have cured two Persons dangerously bit, and a Horse and Dog, with no other Thing But what is mentioned in the before Direction ; and make this Publick for the Benefit of Mankind ; tho' I have been ofl'er'd a considerable Sum by some Persons to make it known to them, but then it must be kept as a Secret.

Take dried Colt's Foot, a good Handful, cut them small, and boil them in a Pint of Spring Water, till half the water is boiled away, then take it off the Fire ; when almost cold, strain it through a Cloth, squeezing the Herbs as dry as you can ; throw the Herb away, and dissolve in the Liquor Half an Ounce of brown Sugar Candy, finely powdered ; when dissolv'd, add to them one spoonful & an Half of the Tindlure of Liquorice - of give a Child five Years old one Spoonful three or four Times a Day. Grown Persons may take four Spoonfuls at a Time, and as often. It will cure in two or three Days.

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Me7id, {Gentle Reader) what escapes amiss, And then it matters not whose Faiilt it is ; For, all men sin, siiice Adam first Transgrest : The Printer sins ; I sin much like the rest :