The Record, 1902-09-12

"But diil In* ever ask you plumb out to marry him?*' 1 says. "Not plumb out. Abe; not In go many words. |{<* was getnn' around to that, you know No. lie never asked me plumb out. but lie talked of the moon and »ta;> and rosebushes and Niagara falls ami whippoorwills and all that. Once he held my hand and said he | would like to b\e on a desert island with m<* .ill the rest of his life. That was about tin* same as popplu' the question, wasn't It?" "Yes. about the same. Did you have any quarrel with him two weeks ago?" ' Not a word. Abe. When he went away, he said that all 1 needed to be become - come become an angel was a pair of wings. Two days later that little freckled fac faced. - ed. faced. stub nosed Nclioolnm'am had him under her thumb." "And what's going to la* done?" I asks. * "I'm goin* lit raise a row." she says Hr- )'> v te h el - At d to ' ther. "Lem Johnson ' >r nobody el.-e wants to ii . a in' i .1 i'll me. No man on ear11 i - i : . . itli my heart fora year -ttill then ihiu.v me over his shoulder. Lem will find t! .1 he's got the wrong pig by the ear before he gets through with me." "What'll you do. wldder?" "That's I wanted to talk with you about. \b liuw would It be if I sued for breach of promise'.' ' "Have y m t any letters from Lem 7" - No H n't i v ry well, you know, and he v .is b. re so often that there was no i ril of letters.' "You've i to lmve IttiiY- to prove your ease !b may have talked about the m*> i a -: ! .V r.i fa I Is a nd a II that but v. *» .1-1 eons lei. Yon ought to ha ve I I a | ipo -al in black and white. v hlng he couldn't dodge." **'| hen i'll meet him and horsewhip him." she deeh - < s as she gets up and kicks over a i hair. -He'd outrun you, wiuder He'd be jver tht' feiie< ami into the woods be fore you con Id loucli Him " "The Idea of it!" she says as she gives the eat a lift with her foot. "The Idea | of that little undersized, squint eyed i schoollun'um tubin' Lem Johnson from me w hen I expected lo be married In th - spring! 1 won't stand it. Abe. I i won t allow it, not even if 1 have to Upset the whole l tilted plates. ^ OU

1 must Know some way that l can'tn> Hometliln'." '-I don't skassly see any way. It's i mighty moan of l.imi and lhat school* ! ma'am, hut 1 don't see how you can touch 'em. The lives of all widtlers Is full of just such disappointments, uml i thej must bear 'em the best they run." - But here's one who won't hear 'em!" : site shouts, with tears in her eyes. -'Abe, if you won't help me in this thing I'll- I'll shout somebody! I'll - nr - And then she broke down nnd fell to ft-eeplng and sobbing and made It un - omfnrtable for me. To chirk her up 1 had to tell her lhat as 1 was going : right past Lem Johnson's house I'd ' stop and have a little chat with him, ! and she was feeling a little more peart i when I left. An hour later, when 1 dro<e up to Johnson's farm, i was told that Lem was out at the burn fanning 1 out hayseed. I went out and found hint, and after a few words 1 says: "Lem. what's the little schoi/lma'am got against you?" "\\ liy, nothin' ott earth?" he answer*. .''Then why is she saying that your feet take up all the road and lhat you use your ears to cover up your ehiu in cold weather?" "By thunder, but is the little minx I u-sayin' that?" shouts Lem. "And that you sit with your hat be be, - , be, tween your feet and your mouth | open?" "By thunder, hut I kinder thought she was makiu' game of me behind my luiek! Say. Abe, I'll chuck her Into a snowdrift!" "And there's the Widder llohson, Lem." I goes on. "You've been toying with her heart, which is a dangerous thing to <lo. She may sue for breach of promise." "She haln't got no letters." "Or she may use a horsewhip or shot -

to let him see how mistaken he is. You knew that he'd been courtin' me for a year past, didn't you?" "Not otii - ally, wldder, not as one rep representing - resenting representing the constitution, the Amer American - ican American iand SujXXWm) of freemeu, whicii I do. I might have heard a word or two as a private citizen, but 1'iu not inUt li given to gossip. S<* Lem Johnson Ims been courting you?" "Hi* has, and he lias as good as asked uie to marry him. Lp to two weeks ago he was here at least three nights a week and -Jl the afternoon Sunday, and he was talkin' love all the time." '-Then something happened, did it?" "Somethin' did. He got acquainted with the iir*w achoolmn'nm, and it rectus that he fell head over heels in love with her. She's already braggJn' a round that she's put my nose out of Joint " "Shoo! I didn't believe Lem was a trlfler." "Nor 1 When he said I had the most beautiful eyes be had ever seen, 1 thought he was In earnest, lie prais praised - ed praised my hair, uiy teeth, my iium- and my chin, and he didn't appear as if he was Jokin' about it."

gun. "D'you think so. Abe?" "Can't tel!. When you toy with a widder's affections, you tire fooling with dynamite, and somebody's sure to be blown up. Anyhow. I'm mighty glad I don't stand in your boots." "What would you do. Abe?" asks Lctu as he turns pale and wabbles about. "I'd make a bee line for the Corners and ask the Wlrider Hobson to marry me." "Hut mebbe sbe'd pepper me with a shotgun." "Mebbe she would, but you'd better run the chances Tell her you've been laid up with a boil on your leg or that you' e bad to sit up with a sick cow." "And she- she won't shoot?" "Not if you speak quick enough. Get a hump ou you, Lem." "1 swow I will!" lie says, and when I drove on lie was changing clothes and yelling to his father to harness up a Imrse. I think the widder's troubles are all over by this time and that tbe Utile stub nosed schoolma'am is won wondering - dering wondering where she ts at. M. Qiai>.

HONEST ABE, U. S. M. HE HEAhj A TALE FROM WIDOW HOB HOBSON - SON HOBSON OF UNREQUITED LOVE. After l.imrni'nu- to Ihr X1»pj Hi» Acts it m h Wise fun ime I nr, and Now It Is SuruiikiMl TUttl the Wide ow'« Tro'ililfn Nr«- ill uu Cml. 1 Copyright, !'"*2. by\C. B. Lewis.] ?\VAS having the blacksmith at Harper's Crossroad* sharpen up the shues of rny horse Uie other day when the Widow Hobson, who lives opposite the simp, called me over. I saw that stm had something on her tn'iui. unit. ..ft- r drinking a glass of blael berry w ine, I asked her what : was the matter. Look lure. Abe!" she replied. "Would you lake me for a chit of a girl?" "Not skasslv," 1 says; "uot skassly." "Anil would you say I was a fool of imvouianV" "I wouldn't, widder; I wouldn't s«.v that." "Well, Loin Johnson either takes me lor a schoolgirl or u fool, and I'm goln'

The State Bank and Trust Company CARSON CITY, NEVADA, CAPITAL $200,000. -D1REC TORS. TORS.T. - T. TORS.T. II. Hiekey. A. I.irinynton. It 1 erinylan. #» f| IVtrrtM, and lieo II Meyer* of tarnnn. C T Mata* uad iieo V.' Mayen «/ Reno. H Brunyher and I'rani: lir Idea uf 7'ciiuyah, T. B. RICKEY, PRESIDENT, GEO. H. MEYERS, VICE PRES'T C. T. BENDER, 2D VICE PRES'T. G. W. RICHARD, CASHIER, JAS. T. DAVIS, ASST. CASHIER, J. W. HARRIS, CA8HIER AT TONOPAH BANSAt Ts a general.lunking business. Deposits received. Buy* and sells exchange on the principal cities of the United Slat** and Kurope. Collections receive prompt attention. Mining stocks THd sold. Bullion and quicksilver bought and sold. Current ac acidic! - idic! acidic! ted with individuals, firms, companies, hanks and banker*. Interest paid'nn'time deposits. ^Safety l>p|to*il Boxes for rent, $4 and $H per year, according to alae.

In Clover. Harry (addressing liis chum. who la engaged to one of a pair of twin sis teas hearing a striking resemblance to each other) I say. Charley, how do you ever manage to tell whether it Is Maud or In r twin sister when you meet one of them alone? Charley I don't try. I take it for granted it Is Maud and let It go at that I'lillkdelpliia North American. If. She Men are sjich queer tilings! He - Of course. But tu what way? She Tom asked in n 1 loved him Just the liltleat tiny hit. and when 1 said yes he told me lie was the happiest man iu the world. What would lie have said if I told him I loved him a good deal? The mau who goes fishing for a rest it more apt to And it after he returns to his daily toil.

Ktcii*vd. Judge Have *ou formed a ay .rr]udloi *i»*Ub.st th» ttpsoner? -juryman - I tiave seen some newspaper pic pictures - tures pictures of liim. Judge You are excused. A Slight >lls >llstnke. - tnke. >llstnke. Lawyer - You will get your third out of the estate, mad am. Widow - You mean my sec second. - ond. second. don't you? Poor John, you know, was only tuy first! >1 ort ilti'u (ion. Bleeker- Has your wife made any plans for the s u m m e r yet? Baxter- No; it's too early. Why, she has not even tried to find out where 1 don't want her to go i et!